miscellaneous

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?Nurse: No change yet...

Why do they name cyclones after women?Because they start off as little blow jobs and end up taking t...

Q: What's the difference between the dinosaur and a dragon...?A: Dinosaurs are too young to SMOKE!...

Why do bald men have holes in their trouser pockets? So they can runtheir fingers through their hair...

Q.What do you call a buncha Blondes in a freezer???A. Frosted Flakes...

Why didn't the mouse cross the road?It's cord wasn't long enough!...

I took one of those viagra tablets the other day, it got stuck in my throat and I had a stiff neck f...

Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other?A: "We'd better get some support or people are gonna thi...

Q: Hey... Did you here about the new Episcopal Church that justopened up?A: They are so liberal that...

Q: How do you drown a blonde?A: Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool....

Tree 1 "Hey look, Mother Nature's coming!"Tree 2 "Look busy."...

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case it was almost fucking impossible!...

Buckwheat from the Little Rascals became a Muslim.Now they call him Kareem of Wheat!...

What do you call 32 hillbillies standing in line?A full set of teeth!...

Your mamma's so fat when she wears a yellow rain coast outside I yell "TAXI!"...

ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK:12% Monday 23% Tuesday 40% Wednesday 20% Thursday 5% Friday...

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?A: Because al...

What does a smart man do with 365 used rubbers?? Makes it a tire and calls it a Good Year....

Q: What nationality are you if you're going to the bathroom? A: EuropeanQ: And what nationality are ...

Q: What's the difference between a faggot and a queer?A: A faggot won't go downtown with you to beat...

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?Shine a torch in her ear!...

Why did the toad cross the road?TO Show his girlfriend he has GUTS!...

Why are Blondes like railroad tracks?Because they are famous for getting laid all over the world!!!...

What happened to Chelsea Clinton's younger brother?Monica swallowed him!...

Q. Why does the wind blow from the north in Indiana?A. Kentucky sucks....

Why do seagulls live by the sea?Because if they lived by the bay, they would be called baygulls!(bay...

Q. How do you sink a polish battleship? A. Put it in water!...

Q: What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you? A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade b...

What did the whale say to the dolphin when he pushed him??? I didn't do it on porpoise!!!...

Q What`s the difference between engagement and hemaroihds?A When the hemaroihds are over you at leas...

Two condoms were walking past a Gay bar.One looks at the other and says..."You wanna go in and get s...

How do prisoners in jail talk to each other?With their cell phones!...

How do you cure constipation?Sit on a block of cheese and swallow a mouse!...

My wife thinks I'm too nosy. At least that's what she keeps writing in her diary!...

Q: What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?A: The taste!...

Q: Why didn't the sanitary pads say hello to the Tampax?A: Because the Tampax were stuck-up cunts!...

Q: Why do so many black people move to Detroit?A: Because they heard there were no jobs there....

Your momma is so fat, when she stood in the scale to get weighed it read -(one at a time please!!!!!...

What do u call a black priest?Holy shit!!...

Did you here about the new dog breed of dog?It's a cross between a Pittbull and a Collie.First it bi...

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in your refridgerator?CHUCK....

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said "Look at that dog with one eye!"The...

What does a nun wear on a date?A Cross Your Heart Bra and No-nonsense pantyhose....

What was the last thing they gave to Elmo before he left the factory?2 testtickles!...

Did you hear there is a new movie out about the Kennedys?It's called Three Funerals and a Wedding....

Your momma so stanky...when she passes by the toilet it flushes!!!...

Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?A: So she can have a doggie bag for later....

What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?A: Marriage....

Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?A: "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use fo...

Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?A: To cover up the valve stem....