miscellaneous

Q: What does a blonde owl say?A: What, what?...

That was Zen, this is Tao....

Your so old you have to put your d*ck in the freezer to get it hard....

Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?A: Nothing. They've never met....

What is the difference between a dog and a fox?About 5 drinks....

Why was 6 afraid of 7?Because 7 8 9!...

Let a pig and a boy have everything they want, and you'll get a good pig and a bad boy....

How did the sand get wet?The sea weed!...

Why do men masturbate? Because they want to have sex with someone they love....

Why are the so smart? They don?t have any blondes....

Whiy is six afraid of seven?Because seven eight nine!...

Your mom is so fat, that I knew her all my life, and I still haven't seen all of her!...

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?E.T. phoned home....

How do you make 5 lbs. of fat attractive? Put a nipple on it....

What does the left leg of a nymphomaniac say to her right leg? Nothing, they have never met....

Q. What's the definition of a lesbian? A. A woman doing a man's job better again!...

What do you get when you put a Gay guy and a dinosaur together?A:> A MegasaurASS...

A LITTLE SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:Why was it that the Kamakazi pilots used helmets?...

What does a bee do with it's stinger before he goes to bed???He put's it in his honey!!...

Why do hummingbirds hum?They forgot the words.........

WE DON'T SERVE WOMEN HERE!(you have to bring your own)...

? Fertilized....

.. 3 million people, 15 last names....

A man walked into a bar and guess what he said. ouch!...

Q: Which part of a vegetable can you not eat?A: The Wheelchair!...

Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag....

Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!...

Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie? Because you can see right through him....

Q: How do we know that God is a man?A: Because if God was a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate....

Your mom is so fat, I can get morning exercise by running around here!...

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?A: Your job still sucks after 6 months....

"Three Men And A Baby"What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything...

What is the best way to get a man to do sit-ups?Put the remote control between his toes....

Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order....

What do you call a cow with no legs? GROUND BEEF!...

How did Moses part the Red Sea?With a seesaw!...

Why did Mrs.Tomatoe turn red ? She saw Mr.Green Pea !...

Your mamma's so fat, when she backs up, she beeps!...

What do you call a cow with no legs?Ground beef....

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull....

What kind of ear does a train have?an Engineer...

Q. What is Black and White and Red all over?A. A Newspaper...

Don't steal... The government doesn't like competition!...

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?A DICTATOR!!...

? She opens the car door....

What do you find up a clean nose? Fingerprints...

YO MAMA SO FAT WHEN SHE STEP ON DA SCALE IT SAYS TO BE CONTINUED...

your mamma is so fat when she goes swimming in the ocean she gets harpooned....

your mamma is so fat when she steps on the scales it says one at a time please....

Have you ever seen an asshole wrapped in plastic?Just look at your drivers license!...