military jokes

The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was th...

|Two dogfaces were digging a foxhole. "What made you join the Army?" asked one. "Well, I read one of...

|An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?...

There was this General-in-training, and his superioirs were asking him questions "What happened ...

Recruits were shocked at the language the sergeant used in their unit. During a smoke break one ...

"Husseinfeld" "Mad About Everything" "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed" "Suddenly Sanctions" "Allah Mc...

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: It took Bill less than 100 d...

From the German Army Hand-Book:

The soldier is allowed to begin swimming without a ...

War was on and the captain was attempting to rally the
GIs on the eve of a big offensive.

In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes Unembarrassed to wear fur. No need to worry about tax ret...

In the 1970's, before women were allowed to sign up for combat duty, a man was bragging to his ...

At a lesson in topography a soldier was asked: "What is farther away, Harrison, the moon or that...

The soldier serving overseas, far from home, was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break ...

|The physical training instructor was drilling a platoon of soldiers."I want every man to lie on his...

My army unit was so tough...

How tough was it?



It was so tough, t...

As the storm raged, the captain realized his
ship was sinking fast. He called out,
"Anyo...

Why did the chicken cross the road?- To escape an oppressive military regime....

Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 22, one to screw it in, 21 to ...

|The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engag...

The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their en...

Airmen had to launch two E-3 AWACS from a National Guard base after a heavey snow strom. Well af...

[Heard on the radio recently in Ithaca, NY]

"Marine biology researchers have devel...

|Private Milton went to psychiatrist and complained: "I have an inferiority complex.""Nothing I can ...

During World War II the Little Moron was drafted into the U. S. Army. He went to Fort Benning fo...

If a Stealth bomber crashes into a forest, does it make a sound?

Merlyn LeRoy

During an Army war game a commanding officer's jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men ...

A recent TASS headline:

SPACE IS NO ESCAPE FROM DIMWIT BUREAUCRATS

A...

Soldier Ivanov was ordered to peel a barrel of potatos. - In this day and age, the army shoul...

alt.sex.lesbian.steel_workers
alt.aviation.kamikazi.pilots
alt.sex.gay.policemen

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of pap...

The soldier serving overseas and far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breakin...

This was a one panel cartoon in "Aboriginal Science Fiction."

On the bridge of a fl...

(and I thought it was hard to write down verbal humor . . . I'll give it
a try though.) <...

During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered ano...

A soldier comes back from the Iraq war after two years to find that his wife has just had a baby...

As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of ...

|An F-111 was flying escort with a B-52 and generally making a nuisance of himself by flying rolls a...

|Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.The first Marine ...

An American paratrooper jumped out of a plain. But his parachute did not open. Falling to the gr...

At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range
had been canceled for the second year i...

|DURING a readiness exercise, my friend Jim and I, Air Force security policemen, were guarding entry...

Andrea was telling me about her brother, when he was a soldier serving overseas, how when he was...

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of pap...

A marine and a sailor are in the bathroom. When they finish, the sailor says,"In the navy, they ...

|First soldier: "Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?"Second soldier: "No way, Jose!"First sold...

Hall's Laws of Politics: 1) The voters want fewer taxes and more spending. 2) Citizens want ho...

Yo mama so fat, the military could just drop -her- on Iraq and end the war....

John Kallam graduated with a BA in criminology and entered the U.S. Army. He served for 20 years...

During training exercises, the lieutenant driving
down a muddy back road encountered another...

|As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: "What's that ...