military jokes

A farm boy was drafted. On his first furlough, his Father asked him what he thought of Army life...

- How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile? - Two. One to launch it, one to watch ...

|These are actual phrases from Officer Efficiency Reports (performance appraisal for the military of...

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?
A: It took Bill less than 100...

Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile ? A: Aeroflot has killed more peo...

"The young army doctor was stationed at a remote
dispensary in the South Pacific.

One ...

Katz's Law:Men and women will act rationally towards each other only after all other possibilities h...

The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters ...

Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? A: God doesn't think he's a fighter p...

Marine Corps Sniper. You can run but you'll just die tired....

Q: Why do navy ships have marines on them?

A: Sheep would be to obvious.
...

Q: What is long, hard, and filled with semen?

A: A submarine....

What's long and hard and full of seamen?

A submarine....

Katz's Law:

Men and women will act rationally towards each other only after all othe...

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned ...

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to...

|As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, "All right...

Short-sighted sarge: "Attention! You also, you little one in the back row with the red cap!" ...

Here's something everyone should know:

On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship...

On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-catt...

A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast Everybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot. How...

|An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat."My dad is an engineer. He can do everyth...

The french girl came home, sobbing because she was pregnant.

"Who is the father of ...

"Well," snarled the tough old sergeant to the bewildered private. "I suppose
after you g...

A sweet young thing thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cockt...

On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-catt...

A sweet young thing thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cockt...

A wheelchair with pedals...
Glow-in-the-dark sunglasses...
A submarine with a screen...

On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-catt...

The theatrical manager exclaimed: "Your last role was magnificent, Mr. Brown. You enacted so w...

The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was th...

|Two dogfaces were digging a foxhole. "What made you join the Army?" asked one. "Well, I read one of...

|An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?...

There was this General-in-training, and his superioirs were asking him questions "What happened ...

Recruits were shocked at the language the sergeant used in their unit. During a smoke break one ...

"Husseinfeld" "Mad About Everything" "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed" "Suddenly Sanctions" "Allah Mc...

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: It took Bill less than 100 d...

From the German Army Hand-Book:

The soldier is allowed to begin swimming without a ...

War was on and the captain was attempting to rally the
GIs on the eve of a big offensive.

In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes Unembarrassed to wear fur. No need to worry about tax ret...

In the 1970's, before women were allowed to sign up for combat duty, a man was bragging to his ...

At a lesson in topography a soldier was asked: "What is farther away, Harrison, the moon or that...

The soldier serving overseas, far from home, was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break ...

|The physical training instructor was drilling a platoon of soldiers."I want every man to lie on his...

My army unit was so tough...

How tough was it?



It was so tough, t...

As the storm raged, the captain realized his
ship was sinking fast. He called out,
"Anyo...

Why did the chicken cross the road?- To escape an oppressive military regime....

Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 22, one to screw it in, 21 to ...

|The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engag...

The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their en...