military jokes

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simp...

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simp...

Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? They fought like animals and ...

A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room. - Do I have any choic...

Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?" A: "We are not p...

Two paratrooper recruits in a plane: - Are you crazy, Vasily? You are going to jump without a...

Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ? A. Nothing, yet....

Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ? A: Turkey....

Q: What is the best Iraqi job ? A: Foreign Ambassador...

Q. "Why do the commodes in Marine barracks have the cut-out type seats?" A. "So that if the se...

Q: How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Look, for onl...

- Who likes music? - asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a ...

Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military action in Bosnia?
A: His area of expertise is dodging a...

Q: "What has an IQ of 42?" A: "40 Marines plus their lieutenant"...

Sargeant Williams was the newest drill instructor at AOCS, Aviation Officer Candidate School and...

SIX PHASES OF THE MONTH IN NAVY RECRUITING 1. ENTHUSIASM 2. DISILUSIONMENT 3. PANIC ...

During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first bat...

|The unit engineer had just finished a talk on introducing mechanization in fatigue details. A serge...

|Private Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offence."You can take your choice, private...

A man was bragging to his friends about how his sister disguised herself as a man and was able t...

An Army private filling out a questionnaire for a
correspondence course was stymied by the qu...

The Pentagon once did a study on why so many American Servicemen marry women in the countries wh...

|A ranger outfit was having training in mountain climbing. One of the men slipped and began falling ...

Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military action in Bosnia? A: His area of expertise is dodging arm...

A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant: - I can't drink from this mug. It h...

Do you know why the new [ethnic] navy is buying glass-bottomed boats for their
new fleet?...

Q: Did you hear about the girl who wanted to join the Army?

A: She jumped over a camp...

Q: Did you hear about the army nurse who went to bed eating popcorn? A: She woke up with a k...

What's the first thing they teach at French military academies?

...

Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join t...

A farm boy was drafted. On his first furlough, his Father asked him what he thought of Army life...

- How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile? - Two. One to launch it, one to watch ...

|These are actual phrases from Officer Efficiency Reports (performance appraisal for the military of...

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?
A: It took Bill less than 100...

Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile ? A: Aeroflot has killed more peo...

"The young army doctor was stationed at a remote
dispensary in the South Pacific.

One ...

Katz's Law:Men and women will act rationally towards each other only after all other possibilities h...

The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters ...

Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? A: God doesn't think he's a fighter p...

Marine Corps Sniper. You can run but you'll just die tired....

Q: Why do navy ships have marines on them?

A: Sheep would be to obvious.
...

Q: What is long, hard, and filled with semen?

A: A submarine....

What's long and hard and full of seamen?

A submarine....

Katz's Law:

Men and women will act rationally towards each other only after all othe...

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned ...

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to...

|As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, "All right...

Short-sighted sarge: "Attention! You also, you little one in the back row with the red cap!" ...

Here's something everyone should know:

On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship...

On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-catt...