medicine

What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?The first couple of times you cough, its not y...

A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just afterarriving home from work. As ...

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study ...

Psychiatric HotlineIf you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.If you are co-dependen...

Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed a razor blade?She gave herself a tonsillectomy, an append...

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the fuzzy language...

This man is suffering from extreme headaches so he
goes to his doctor.

Man:...

The patient came into the doctor's office, suffering from amnesia.The doctor asked, "Have you ever h...

Oprectomy KENMORE HOSPITAL 61 COMMONWEALTH AVE. ...

Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off al...

When his wife's snoring woke him for the third straight night, Harry went to the bathroom medici...

A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He wa...

After years of psychotherapy, John no longer believeshe is a grain of wheat. However, one day he and...

Here's a pretty nasty one:Why are they having such a hard time finding a cure for AIDS?The scientist...

"I'm in love with my horse," the nervous man told his psychiatrist. "Nothing to worry about," the ps...

A man walks into a doctor's office with a frog stuck to his head.Doctor: How did this happen?Frog: I...

What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?Snoop in your medicine cabinet....

What is red and sticky and crawls up a girls thigh?A home-sick abortion....

Why do doctors slap babies when they are born? To knock the penises off the smart ones....

A very well-built young lady was lying on her psychiatrist's couch, telling him how frustrated she w...

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.The doctor says, "Your wife was in a ...

Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore."M...

A man goes into the doctor's office feeling really bad. After a thorough examination the doctor call...

There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear tothe wall and listen. The doc...

A woman is laying on a gurney out in the hall prior to going to surgery. As she lays there, a man in...

Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the ...

A man is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up in a body cast.One of the nurses gave him a rectal t...

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist ifthere is anybody in room 27. She goes and...

Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother?Sister: He thinks he's a chicken.Psychiatrist: How lon...

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserablecold. His doctor prescribed so...

"Mr. Chilton," the analyst said, "I think this will be your last visit.""Does that mean I'm cured?" ...

A rather senile old lady went to her doctor complaining ofdraining and a feeling of fullness in her ...

I said to the doctor "I have this ringing in my ears."He said, "Don't answer it!"...

When his wife's snoring woke him for the third straight night, Harry went to the bathroom medici...

A friend of mine studying medicine once told me this story.

Apparently one day the...

Herman the hypochondriac began sobbing before a doctor."I'm sure I've got a liver disease, and I'm g...

Did you hear about the Jewish doctor who gave a patient six months to live?When the patient couldn't...

A midget walks into the doctors and says, "Doc, I've got these fuckingitchy balls and I can't do any...

A girl goes to the doctor. She says, "Doc, I'm freakin' out...I'm freakin' out...my pee's coming out...

Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. ...

Hiram answers the telephone, and it's an emergency room doctor.The doctor says, "Your wife was in a ...

A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated."The doctor examines him fo...

This male prostitute contracted syphilis.He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off....

This male prostitute contracted leprosy.He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off....

A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist.She walked into his office and sai...

When white man found this land, Indians were running it.There were:- No Taxes- No Debt- Plenty buffa...

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?The taste....

A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic ofthe lecture, and on to his fav...

I have an earache.

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is...

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root. 1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 ...