love and marriage jokes

There once was a man who had three girlfriends, and he couldn?t decide which one to marry. He de...

An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of a very happy marriage, he ha...

The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!...

When his wife's snoring woke him for the third straight night, Harry went to the bathroom medici...

On their wedding night, the young bride told her groom, 'Since we're married now, we can arrange...

Ever since I turned 30, my mom's vocabulary seems to have gradually shrunk. It now consists of o...

There's this couple and they've been dating for quite some time. He wants her really bad, but she wo...

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't ...

If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why s...

If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why s...

There's this couple and they've been dating for quite some time. He wants her really bad, but sh...

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Dumb ma...

Three women were dressing after an aerobics workout and talking about their spouses. "My husband...

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't...

Love, you can't start it like a car, you can't stop it with a gun. - George Bernard ShawOne cardinal...

|A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years a...

What Exactly Is Marriage?

"Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give ...

An old man went to the doctor. He said, "Doctor, I was wondering if you could help me. My wife a...

I'm not the kind-of guy who objects to my wife having the last word.

I'd just wish to hel...

Girl your so fine i wish i could plant you and have a whole bunch of yall...

Husband: "Want a quickie?"

Wife: "As opposed to what?"
...

"Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?" she said looking lovingly into her h...

Wife: Give me some money. I want to buy a new bra.

Husband: Why? You have nothin...

A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant ...

A wealthy business man and his wife are looking through a marriage-help book when his husband tu...

Husband: What do you love most, my natural beauty or my body? Wife: Your sense of humor....

Q: What food decreases a womans sex drive by 90%

A: wedding cake...

I married Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.
...

A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife. "Please describe," said h...

The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple' s house. She rang the doo...

It's just to hot to wear clothes today," said Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what...

It's just to hot to wear clothes today," said Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what...

1. A man will pay 2 dollars for a 1 dollar item he wants. A woman will pay 1 dollar for a 2 dollar i...

An elderly couple were sitting on their front porch one evening, when the wife picks up her cane...

My girlfriend is weird.

Just the other day, she asked me, "If you could know how...

A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way fro...

Before - You take my breath away.
After - I feel like I'm suffocating.

Bef...

A woman at a party walked up to a man and told him, ''If you were my husband I would poison your...

The rescue squad was called to the home of an elderly couple for a heart attack the gentleman wa...

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
The...

Husband:
'Shall we try a different position tonight?'

Wife:
'That's...

What four animals does a woman like to have in her house?

A tiger in bed, a mink...

Add some peanuts

If you can get access to their luggage after they have packed, add styro...

A guy was invited to some old friends' home for dinner.

His buddy preceded every request...

Impossible to drive away

Jack up the car, put blocks under the axle, then lower the car o...

On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his f...

A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window ...

Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what...

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It's for my husband," she tells the cl...

After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife deci...