lawyer jokes

Whats the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?



A prostitute ...

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose thi...

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombsto...

The most successful lawyer in town had never made a contribution to the Red Cross. The chairman of t...

A lawyer, who was quite wealthy, had a summer cabin to which he retreated for several weeks of t...

A lawyer cross-examined the adversary's main witness. "You claim to have stopped by Mrs. Edwards...

|A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule."Alright," the lawyer says looking thr...

A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule.

"Alright," the lawyer says ...

Q. What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

A. A tick falls off of you whe...

Three guys are walking in an abandoned warehouse. They find a genie bottle. They decide to rub it.A ...

It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

A guy from Czechslovakia was visiting his cousin the lawyer in California, and they went for a h...

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off...

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off...

A lawyer, who was quite wealthy, had a summer cabin to which he retreated for several weeks of t...

"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer says to his client." "What's the bad news?" ...

A lawyer defending a manaccused of burglary tried this creative defense:"My client merelyin...

|A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. How l...

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. Ho...

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead o...

The most successful lawyer in town had never made a contribution to the Red Cross. The chairman ...

After dozens of very expensive tests and weeks of hospitalization, the rich old man was told he had ...

So, this guy walks into a bar and tries without success to hit on several women. The bartender, ...

A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you
serve lawyers...

After dozens of very expensive tests and weeks of hospitalization, the rich old man was told he ...

After dozens of very expensive tests and weeks of hospitalization, the rich old man was told he ...

The old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defence lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my clie...

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the ...

One day a Pope and a lawyer die. They arrive at the Pearly Gates together and are ushered in. An...

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher reco...

What is the difference between a lawyer and a sperm?



At least a sperm h...

A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated ...

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombs...

A priest and a lawyer are walking down the street and seea small boy eating an ice cream. The priest...

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahe...

A lawyer finds himself in the city park. It is a beautiful summer day so he decides to take his ...

A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunk who is closely examining something held ...

On visting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital, his friend found himsitting up in the bed, franti...

Q. What do lawyers use for birth control?

A. Their personalities.

Q. What...

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.

Fortunately, the butc...

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer ...

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer ...

A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated ...

These Lawyer jokes are from the Nolo Press newspaper.

What do lawyers use for birt...

An Elderly couple are in the Lawyer's office saying they would like to get a divorce

...

Q. What do lawyers use for birth control?

A. Their personalities.

Q. W...

|What are the three questions most commonly asked by lawyers?1. How much money do you have?2. Where ...

A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The lawyer asked him, "Did you actually see ...

Storming into his lawyer's office, a Texas oil magnate demanded that divorce proceedings begin a...

|A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who a...