lawyer jokes

A New Orleans lawyer needed 75 stitches after a two-metre shark
in a restaurant aquarium ...

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, "...

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashe...

Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?A: Shoot him before he hits the water....

Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?

A: Lipstick....

How do you know when a ventriloquist lawyer is lying?

His lips aren't moving....

How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning?



Shoot him before he hits the wa...

A Truck Driver was driving down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the Road. He sto...

A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor, and it's inoperable - in fact, it's so large, they have...

A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor and it's inoperable - in fact, it's so large, they have ...

|Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, the f...

"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to her lawyer, after he had solved her legal troubles...

Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, th...

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eati...

Q: What do u have when their is a lawyer up to his neck in cement?



A: n...

A guy phones a law office and says: "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist replies, "I...

Three guys are walking in an abandoned warehouse. They find a genie bottle. They decide to rub i...

Witness: "Well, I think ..."

Lawyer: "Don't think! In this court you tell what you ...

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneadi...

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it...

A woman who was diagnosed as being terminally ill was told she needed a brain transplant using a...

There is a truck driver driving along, and he stops and picks up a priest to give him a ride. He...

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the t...

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges more. ...

Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven broke...

Q: What can a goose do, that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do?
A: Stick his bill up...

Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?




...

A priest settled into a chair in a lawyer's office.

"Is it true," said the Priest, "that...

A stingy old lawyer was on his deathbed. He instructed his wife to fill two large pillowcases with m...

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneadi...

Whats the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?



A prostitute ...

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose thi...

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombsto...

The most successful lawyer in town had never made a contribution to the Red Cross. The chairman of t...

A lawyer, who was quite wealthy, had a summer cabin to which he retreated for several weeks of t...

A lawyer cross-examined the adversary's main witness. "You claim to have stopped by Mrs. Edwards...

|A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule."Alright," the lawyer says looking thr...

A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule.

"Alright," the lawyer says ...

Q. What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

A. A tick falls off of you whe...

Three guys are walking in an abandoned warehouse. They find a genie bottle. They decide to rub it.A ...

It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

A guy from Czechslovakia was visiting his cousin the lawyer in California, and they went for a h...

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off...

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off...

A lawyer, who was quite wealthy, had a summer cabin to which he retreated for several weeks of t...

"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer says to his client." "What's the bad news?" ...

A lawyer defending a manaccused of burglary tried this creative defense:"My client merelyin...

|A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. How l...

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. Ho...

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead o...