lawyer jokes

|Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh...

Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, ...

Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates of Heaven, and the angel sta...

A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together. St. Peter g...

(Heard this morning on Radio 4, the "Today" programme)

Question: What is 1 + 2 ? <...

A farmer asked a friend to recommend an attorney to defend him against a charge of bestiality.

A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together.

...

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and his front bumper smashed. There...

One more Lincoln story that came to mind:

As a young lawyer, Lincoln was pleading a...

For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The...

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, ...

The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins:
1) Defending ...

A man in a bar stands up and proclaims, "All Lawyers are ASSHOLES!"

A man at the fron...

What do you get a lawyer for his birthday?



Briefs!! ha!ha!

...

Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?" Cl...

Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla

the Hun, and a ...

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom...

Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atillathe Hun, and a lawyer, and you h...

You are in a room with a mass murderer, a terrorist and a lawyer.

You have a gun...

Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer?

A: Throw him a rock.


Sc...

Jury(n): a collection of people banded together for the purpose of deciding who has hired the be...

You are in a room with a mass murderer, a terrorist and a lawyer.

You have a gun wi...

Here is a lawyer joke that I heard, bu...

A man and his alligator walk into a bar and the man asks, "Does this bar serve lawyers?""Of course w...

Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working? ...

The US government is throwing away millions of unused stamps with pictures of favorite lawyers o...

You are in a room with Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, and a lawyer.You have a gun and only two bu...

A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most suc...

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it...

Lawyer: "Let me give you my honest opinion." Client: "No, no. I'm paying for professional a...

How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning?



Shoot him before he hits the...

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombsto...

A man went to his lawyer and said, "I would like to make Out a will but I don't know exactly how...

A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: "What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?...

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombsto...

|A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it of...

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it...

You're trapped in a cave with a cobra, grizzly, killer bees, and a lawyer. You have a gun that o...

A man walks into a bar with an alligator.

"Do you serve lawyers in here?", the man inqui...

What do a lawyer and sperm have in common?They both have a one in a million chance of being human....

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you ...

What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer?
The leech stops sucking you dry afte...

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?...

Changing lawyers is like changing deck chairs on the Titanic....

Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client?s case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."

Two lawyers had been stranded on a deserted island for several months.The only other thing on the is...

The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins:

1) Defen...

|A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question: "Have you ever been arrest...

A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question: "Have you ever been arr...

A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him "What have you ...