kids jokes

|What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?The Lizard of Oz!...

|Whats white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?A hot frog!...

I like to hang out around the playground, just watching the kids running and screaming. They don't k...

Q: What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas? A: Nothing. But he promised he...

Why doesn't Santa have any children?



Because he only comes once a year,...

How come they don't let the little black kids play in the sandbox?

Now that I'm older.....here's what I've discovered.....I started out with nothing..I still have most...

Q...What do you call children who are raised in those naughty houses of ill-repute?A...Brothel Sprou...

Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts? They were both designed for the kids, but it's...

A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills....

Yo Momma so ugly, the neighbor kids dare each other to ring her doorbell on Halloween....

|What is a grasshopper?An insect on a pogo stick!...

|What happened to the man who turned into an insect?He just beetled off!...

|What do insects learn at school?Mothmatics!...

|What's the biggest moth in the world?A mammoth!...

|What is a mouse's favorite record?'Please cheese me'!...

|What's a mouse's least favorite record?What's up Pussycat!...

|How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs?They sit eggsaminations!...

|What's a frogs favorite flower?A croakus!...

|What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?A hoppercraft!...

|What do you call a 100 year old frog?An old croak!...

|What do Scottish toads play?Hop-scotch!...

|What's a toads favorite sweet?Lollihops!...

|What reads and lives in an apple?A bookworm!...

|Why do worms taste like chewing gum?Because they're wrigleys!...

|What is life like for a wood worm?Boring!...

|How can you tell which end of a worm is which?Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!...

|What did the worm say to the other when he was late home?Where in earth have you been!...

You're so ugly you make blind kids cry!...

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself,
hire someone, or forbid your k...

You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"....

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have to write post-i...

The father of five children won a toy at a raffle.
He called his kids together to ask which o...

The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which ...

Q: How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?A: Put velcro on the ceiling.Q: How do you ge...

Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus? A: He comes down the chimney, wakes up the childr...

What do stupid kids do at Halloween? They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins....

Asked about his views on euthanasia, Clinton replied, "Youth in Asia are just like kids everywhe...

A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills....

I like to hang out around the playground, just watching the kids running and screaming. They don...

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. -- Marvin Kitman...

I woke up early feeling a little depressed because it was my birthday and thought, Another year ...

Now that I'm older.....here's what I've discovered.....



I started out w...

You are so cheap . . .

When someone rang your doorbell, your kids had to yell, "ding ...

Q...What do you call children who are raised in those naughty houses of ill-repute?

...

What do women's breasts and toy cars have in common? They're meant for kids but dads end up p...

You escort people out of line for having 11 items in the "10 items or less" lane. You walk into a st...

|What has four wheels and flies?A rubbish bin!...

|What is the most religious insect?A mosque-ito!...

|What is a myth?A female moth!...