kids jokes

A girl came skipping home from school one day.



"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled...

One is white, plastic and dangerous for kids to play with the other you carry groceries in....

|Parent's Dictionary of MeaningsDUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.FEE...

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the...

You might be a redneck if...

You see a sign that says "bridge out" and you try to jump it...

A Cyberspace friend of mine here in Istanbul who teaches computer science to junior high-school ...

The kinderkarten teacher started school every morning by teaching the kids one new English word....

You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

One of your kids was born on ...

|What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?A mouseketeer!...

The kids are crazy about a new piglet toy. When they wind it up, it eats all the spinach off the...

YO MAMAS SO FAT WHEN SHE WEARS A RED DRESS ALL THE KIDS SCREAM LOOK ITS THE KOOLAID MAN y...

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? Kids don't eat broccoli!...

|What's an insects best chat up line?Pardon me, but is this stool taken!...

|What's gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?Stalagmice!...

|What's the hardest part of milking a mouse?Getting it to fit over a bucket!...

|What is small, furry and smells like bacon?A hamster!...

|Whats a frogs favorite game?It's croak-et!...

|What kind of bull doesn't have horns?A bullfrog!...

|What kind of pole is short and floppy?A tadpole!...

|What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair?Lily!...

|Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?In the croakroom!...

|What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?Reptiles!...

|What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?A dirty kid!...

|What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?Light ale!...

|What did the maggot say to his friend when he got stuck in an apple?Worm your way out of that one!...

|What happened to the glow worm who was squashed?He was de-lighted!...

Why doesn't Santa have any children?Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down t...

Q. What does a woman's asshole do when she is having an orgasm? A. He is usually home with the ...

There are three ways to get things done: do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your k...

Why are Grandmas so nice?





There's no kids and no periods....

|What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?The Lizard of Oz!...

|Whats white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?A hot frog!...

I like to hang out around the playground, just watching the kids running and screaming. They don't k...

Q: What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas? A: Nothing. But he promised he...

Why doesn't Santa have any children?



Because he only comes once a year,...

How come they don't let the little black kids play in the sandbox?

Now that I'm older.....here's what I've discovered.....I started out with nothing..I still have most...

Q...What do you call children who are raised in those naughty houses of ill-repute?A...Brothel Sprou...

Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts? They were both designed for the kids, but it's...

A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills....

Yo Momma so ugly, the neighbor kids dare each other to ring her doorbell on Halloween....

|What is a grasshopper?An insect on a pogo stick!...

|What happened to the man who turned into an insect?He just beetled off!...

|What do insects learn at school?Mothmatics!...

|What's the biggest moth in the world?A mammoth!...

|What is a mouse's favorite record?'Please cheese me'!...

|What's a mouse's least favorite record?What's up Pussycat!...

|How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs?They sit eggsaminations!...

|What's a frogs favorite flower?A croakus!...

|What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?A hoppercraft!...