kids jokes

If IBM ran Christmas...
They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up f...

From Contemporary Comedy, November issue

I think it's going to be a rough winter. I...

Amnesia: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

Dum...

Banta comes to Australia and goes to Woolworths's (Ubiquitious grocery store in Australia). He f...

so a cop stops three kids and he says ur dicks have to equal 21 inches and so thee first guy pu...

|What are spiders webs good for?Spiders!...

|What did the maggot say to another?What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this!...

|What's the difference between a worm and an apple?Have you ever tried worm pie?...

You might be a redneck if...
Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash....

Kid to teacher: "I know the answer, but I can't quite download it."

Kid, walking aw...

|What goes "snap, crackle and pop"?A firefly with a short circuit!...

|Why did the firefly keep stealing things?He was light fingered!...

|How do you know if you have a tough mosquito?You slap him and he slaps you back!...

|What has antlers and sucks blood?A moose-quito!...

|What is a mosquito's favorite sport?Skin-diving!...

|What squeaks as it solves crimes?Miami mice!...

|What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer?Mice cubes!...

|What mouse was a Roman emperor?Julius Cheeser!...

|What have 12 legs, six eyes, three tails and can't see?Three blind mice!...

|What's the definition of a narrow squeak?A thin mouse!...

|What is a mouse's favorite game?Hide and squeak!...

|What's a toad's favorite ballet?Swamp Lake!...

|What is a chameleon's motto?A change is as good as a rest!...

|What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?Hoppalong Cassidy!...

|Where do frogs keep their treasure?In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!...

|Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper?He had his own frog horn!...

|What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall?How slime flies!...

|How do snails get their shells so shiny?They use snail varnish!...

|What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital...

|Why are spiders good swimmers?They have webbed feet!...

|What is a spiders favorite TV show?The newly web game!...

|What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose?I'm not sure, but I wouldn't try smelling it!...

|What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre?A spinning wheel!...

|What's yellow, wiggles and is dangerous?A maggot with attitude!...

|What is the best advice to give to worm?Sleep late!...

|What is the maggot army called?The Apple Corps!...

|Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?Because everyone had to go on in pairs!...

|Who is the worm's Prime Minister?Maggot Thatcher!...

Q: How many kindergarden kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, two, three... M...

" Crack Found on Governor's Daughter "

" Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says "

...

One of the options on your truck is a spitoon.

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch ...

|At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young...

Every Christmas morning, when my kids were little, I read them the nativity story out of the big...

There was these three kids and there mother.They decided to bake a cake. The older son came in a...

His mother replies, "No you don't Johnny. You have a hideously deformed head. The other children...

When I was growing up I used to lick all the kids on the block except for the Browns...They were boy...

|Which fly makes films?Stephen Speilbug!...

|What do you call a grasshopper with no legs?A grasshover!...

|What lives in gum trees?Stick insects!...

|Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?To improve his bite!...