kids jokes

|Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?A frog with hiccups!...

|What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?Star Warts!...

|What's green a slimy and found at the North Pole?A lost frog!...

|What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late?Your spinning ...

"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut...

What do stupid kids do at Halloween ? They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins...

Q: What's the difference between Janet Reno and a school bus driver? A: The bus driver stops to...

What do Michael Jackson and a PS2 have in common?

They are both made out of plast...

Your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

You watch cartoons long after your kids get bor...

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one...

Has anybody attempted a compilation of the hilarious things kids do
and say in the proces...

AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.DUMBWAITER: One...

A doctor examined a woman and took her husband aside. "I don't want to alarm you," he said, "but...

My husband has always taken the time to make love to me in a very romantic atmosphere.

Bikers back down from your momma.

You were shooting pool when your kids were born.

|How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?Put a pile of manure in the living room!...

|What is green and can jump a mile in a minute?A grasshopper with hiccups!...

|What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code?A morese-quito!...

|What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?The Masked-quito!...

|How do you make a butterfly?Flick it out of the butter dish with a knife!...

|What's pretty, delicate and carries a sub machine gun?A killer butterfly!...

|What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside?A mouse sandwich!...

|What do rodents say when they play bingo?'Eyes down for a full mouse'!...

|What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!...

|What do worms leave round their baths?The scum of the earth!...

|Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag?They can lighten your load!...

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected....

AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it not...

Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.

Your satellite dish payment delays buying scho...

If IBM ran Christmas...
They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up f...

From Contemporary Comedy, November issue

I think it's going to be a rough winter. I...

Amnesia: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

Dum...

Banta comes to Australia and goes to Woolworths's (Ubiquitious grocery store in Australia). He f...

so a cop stops three kids and he says ur dicks have to equal 21 inches and so thee first guy pu...

|What are spiders webs good for?Spiders!...

|What did the maggot say to another?What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this!...

|What's the difference between a worm and an apple?Have you ever tried worm pie?...

You might be a redneck if...
Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash....

Kid to teacher: "I know the answer, but I can't quite download it."

Kid, walking aw...

|What goes "snap, crackle and pop"?A firefly with a short circuit!...

|Why did the firefly keep stealing things?He was light fingered!...

|How do you know if you have a tough mosquito?You slap him and he slaps you back!...

|What has antlers and sucks blood?A moose-quito!...

|What is a mosquito's favorite sport?Skin-diving!...

|What squeaks as it solves crimes?Miami mice!...

|What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer?Mice cubes!...

|What mouse was a Roman emperor?Julius Cheeser!...

|What have 12 legs, six eyes, three tails and can't see?Three blind mice!...

|What's the definition of a narrow squeak?A thin mouse!...