kids jokes

Why I Fired My Secretary I woke up early, feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I though...

A redneck returns to the doctors after having some tests and asks what the results were.

You get up EARLY on Saturday to go yard sale shopping for entertainment.

Your gun cabinet...

My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it...

Do you remember the Charlie Brown specials that taught valuable life lessons to a generation of ...

|Why were the flies playing football in saucer?They where playing for the cup!...

|What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly?Try sewing buttons on a mosquito!...

You might be a redneck if...
Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap....

You might be a redneck if...
You were shooting pool when your kids were born....

|What is green and brown, has four legs and can kill you if it falls out of a tree and lands on you?...

|Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves?Mickey Moose!...

Q: What goes TICK-TICK, WOOF-WOOF?A: A watchdog!Q: Why do male deer need braces?A: Because they have...

Q: Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?

A: They were both designed for th...

What do toys and womens breasts have in common?

They were both originally made for kids, ...

Modem: What 'cha did to the hay fields.

Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife.

Lap Top:...

My favorite mail today was a long, white business envelope marked "Personal" in red, addressed t...

The doctor came out of the operating room to talk with the man's wife. "I don't like the looks o...

|What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?Chimney Cricket!...

|What do you get if cross a mouse woth a packet of washing up powder?Bubble and squeak!...

|What do you call the English Toad Prize giving cermony?The Brit Awarts!...

The doctor came out of the operating room to talk with the man's wife. "I don't like the looks of yo...

Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale. Panic is what you feel when y...

My husband has always taken the time to make love to me in a very romantic atmosphere.In fact, all o...

Q: What goes TICK-TICK, WOOF-WOOF?

A: A watchdog!



Q: Why do...

Q: What goes TICK-TICK, WOOF-WOOF?

A: A watchdog!



Q: Why do mal...

|If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player?The o...

|What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?A gerbil shepherd dog!...

|What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?A mouse-tache!...

|What kind of musical instrument do mice play?A mouse organ!...

|What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?Hard cheese!...

|Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?A frog with hiccups!...

|What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?Star Warts!...

|What's green a slimy and found at the North Pole?A lost frog!...

|What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late?Your spinning ...

"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut...

What do stupid kids do at Halloween ? They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins...

Q: What's the difference between Janet Reno and a school bus driver? A: The bus driver stops to...

What do Michael Jackson and a PS2 have in common?

They are both made out of plast...

Your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

You watch cartoons long after your kids get bor...

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one...

Has anybody attempted a compilation of the hilarious things kids do
and say in the proces...

AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.DUMBWAITER: One...

A doctor examined a woman and took her husband aside. "I don't want to alarm you," he said, "but...

My husband has always taken the time to make love to me in a very romantic atmosphere.

Bikers back down from your momma.

You were shooting pool when your kids were born.

|How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?Put a pile of manure in the living room!...

|What is green and can jump a mile in a minute?A grasshopper with hiccups!...

|What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code?A morese-quito!...

|What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?The Masked-quito!...

|How do you make a butterfly?Flick it out of the butter dish with a knife!...