instrument jokes

|From: Efficiency & Ticket, Ltd., Management ConsultantsTo: Chairman, The London Symphony OrchestraR...

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainm...

|Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kri...

|The origin of the bagpipes was being discussed and the representatives of different nations were ea...

|Q: What is the range of a tuba?A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm.Q: What's a tuba for?A: 1 1...

|So this trumpet player dies. When he reaches is everlasting reward, the guy in the robe says, "You'...

|Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of...

|A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where...

|Q: What do you get when you play a new age song backwards?A: A new age song.Q: What happens if you ...

|A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and t...

|Q: What's the definition of a nerd?A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.Q: Why do clarin...

Forwarded from a friend who's doing student teaching this semester...

these are ac...

|Q: What is the difference between hearing an English horn solo and being tortured?A: One is far mor...

|There's a five pound note on the floor. Of a thrash guitarist, a drummer who keeps good time, and a...

These are stories and test q...

These are stories and test questions accumulated by music teachers in the state of Missouri:

|Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To get away from the bassoon recital.Q: Why is a bassoon b...

A policeman stops a car and suggests an apparently drunken fellow to take a breath test. He blow...

|Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what lif...

You might be a redneck if...

You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

You'v...

|All of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are ...

|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most lik...

|At a concert hall one night, the stage manager comes across an oboe player and a viola player havin...

Cologne, May 27 dpa - The U.S. dollar is undervalued against the Deutsch-mark based on how many...

|A soprano died and went to Heaven. St. Peter stopped her at the gate asking, "Well, how many false ...

|Last summer, the local orchestra decided to play Beethoven's 9th symphony.However, it being quite h...

Stan Can and Sam Clam were buddies. Sam owned a disco and Stan enjoyed going there. One night, S...

|Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Fifty. One to do it and the...

Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house. Mrs. Tut...

Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house. Mrs. Tut...

|Bob is throwing a party. He decides that, to break the ice at his party, he'll ask his guests what ...

Interviewer: Sir Thomas, have you ever conducted Schoenberg?

Sir Thomas Beecham: No, b...

|From "Late Show with David Letterman" on Tuesday, August 9, 199410. It's hosted by Ed McMahon.9. "A...

|Q: Why do drummers have a half ounce more brains than horses?A: So they don't disgrace themselves a...

|Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to...

A tax preparer was helping some customers.

The first guy comes in and the tax man a...

|Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?A: A flat minor.Q: What do you get if yo...

A man goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says "I'll bet $50 that no one here has a musical i...

Arriving in HeavenThree men die and go to heaven and queue to meet St. Peter.

St. Peter: ...

|Q: How do you make him stop playing?A: Put notes on it!Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist?...

|Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?A: The bow is moving.Q: How do you make a violin sou...

|It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength ...

It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the streng...

|Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots...

|Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?A: It's all in the grip.Q: What is the...

Three men die and go to heaven and queue to meet St. Peter. St. Peter: Hi, what's your name...

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainm...

In a recent issue of Meat & Poultry magazine, editors quoted from ''Feathers,'' the publication ...

In a recent issue of Meat & Poultry magazine, editors quoted from ''Feathers,'...

The same pair of boots have been in your family for five generations and they're on...