Instrument Jokes

|The basic training of every singer should, of course, include myriad types of practical and theoret...

|An accordion is a bagpipe with pleats.Q: What is the definition of an optimist?A: An accordion play...

|A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and t...

|A soprano died and went to Heaven. St. Peter stopped her at the gate asking, "Well, how many false ...

|Arriving in HeavenThree men die and go to heaven and queue to meet St. Peter.St. Peter: Hi, what's ...

|A note left for a pianist from his wifeGone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet...

|Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?A: To get away from the noise.Q: What's the only thing wors...

|Q: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Only one, but all the others gathe...

|Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist?A: He turned a peg and wouldn't tell the bass p...

|Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To get away from the bassoon recital.Q: Why is a bassoon b...

|Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.Q...

|Q: What's the definition of a nerd?A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.Q: Why do clarin...

|Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what lif...

|Q: Why do drummers have a half ounce more brains than horses?A: So they don't disgrace themselves a...

|From: Efficiency & Ticket, Ltd., Management ConsultantsTo: Chairman, The London Symphony OrchestraR...

|Q: What is the difference between hearing an English horn solo and being tortured?A: One is far mor...

|At a concert hall one night, the stage manager comes across an oboe player and a viola player havin...

|Q: What's the definition of a minor second?A: Two flutes playing a unison.Flute players spend half ...

|Q: What do you get when you cross a French horn player with a goal post?A: A goal post that can't m...

|While at a concert being performed by a very bad orchestra, George Bernard Shaw was asked what he'd...

|Accent: An unusual manner of pronunciation, e.g. "Y'all sang that real good!"Accidentals: Wrong not...

|Q: How do you make him stop playing?A: Put notes on it!Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist?...

|Steve Wright: I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, a...

|A harp is a nude piano.A Celtic harpist spends half her time tuning her harp, and the other half pl...

|The late Sir Thomas Beecham used to say the sound of the harpsichord is like "two skeletons making ...