general - unsorted jokes

You know you've been married too long when a "Quickie" before dinner now means a drink....

Q: How do you know that you are in a real lesbian bar?

A: Not even the pool table has...

What is greater than God,

More evil than the devil?

The poor have it,

What do you call a prostitute covered in tattoos?



The Scenic Root....

"I see you bought a new car. What's the make?"

"A Perndle."

"I've neve...

It was so cold last week I saw a Lawyer with his hands in his own pockets !...

You know you're a redneck when you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off...

What did Clinton say when commenting on Monica?



She has the whitest tee...

What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?



Well Hung....

What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?



Cash and carry....

Why did the woman cross the road? Never mind that, what's she doing out of the kitchen....

Two condoms were walking past a Gay bar.

One looks at the other and says...

An actuary that works with my dad told him this one:

There are three types of actu...

A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His answer? "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, ...

What do u call a black priest?



Holy shit!!...

Q: Why do so many black people move to Detroit?



A: Because they heard t...

Q: Why did the Priest go to Walmart?





A: He wan...

Military training:



During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private d...

What do you call 32 hillbillies standing in line?



A full set of teeth!...

If you were in a dark room with a big strong man, would you want the lights on?...

Q: Whats cheaper Deernuts or Peanuts?

A: Deernuts cause they're under a buck.
...

The last black person that had a dream got shot....

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?



Four. Actually, onl...

My mom gave me this dollar. Oh boy!
Then my friend offered me two quarters for it. Two for on...

If your dishwasher stops working, how do you make it start back up?

Kick her....

When a farmer dies, why is he only buried six inches deep?

So he can still get a hand...

What happened to Chelsea Clinton's younger brother?



Monica swallowed hi...

What happened to the blind skunk? He fell in love with a fart....

Two skeletons meet, and one asks the other, "Did you die before the Social Security reform, or a...

Why did the woman cross the road?

Who cares? More importantly, how did she get out ...

Your mama so dumb someone asked her to trace her roots and she drew on her hair....

At the marriage counselor's office, the woman complained, "What's-his-name here says I don't giv...

Why do they name cyclones after women?



Because they start off as little...

What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?



One lo...

Q: Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants?



A: Just in case he got a h...

Doctor, don't cut so deep. That's the third operating table you've ruined this month!...

Q. What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

A. Quarter-pounder with chees...

What Is The Fastest Sea Animal On the Earth?


A cuban Swimming Away From The C...

Father: If I had ten oranges and gave you two, how many would I have left?

TEXAN: "Where are you from?"HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences...

What's the difference between men and beer?
When you're done with the beer it's still w...

One way to live together and never have an argument is for both husband and wife to be hard-of-h...

How are a husband and a cat similar when it comes to housework?



They're...

Have you heard of the new "Divorce" Barbie? She comes with all Ken's stuff....

When Mike got arrested, they told him, "Anything you say will be held against you."

Mi...

Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other?





A: "We'd bet...

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator??



A: Why the hell are you sh...

Q: Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts?

A: Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mi...

In the end only roaches and fruit cake will be left and the funny thing is that the roaches die ...

It was the only time that 12 adults could get Michael off....