general - unsorted jokes

WHY DOES IT MATTER? IT'S JUST GONNA BURN OUT AGAIN, ANYWAY.
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Q: Why did the blond jump off the bridge?



A: To see if her maxipad rea...

Horn broken, watch for finger....

Wear short sleeves: Support your right to bare arms!...

What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you that you have a sexually transmitted dise...

They know how to make little things count....

Yo mamma's so stupid she got trapped in a bathroom and wet her pants!
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What does SWM stand for in a personal column advertisement?



Sneaking Wh...

Even the pool table doesn't have balls!...

What do you call a Mexican being baptized?

Bean dip....

So the Germans can march in the shade....

Q: What's the difference between a rectal and oral thermometer? A: The taste....

What is the thing that you keep on looking for and when you find it you throw it away?

They have one-track minds....

You get a slobbering creature who chews up everything and ignores you totally....

Her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters....

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it....

Women always get to clean it...

Q: How to communicate with a fish?

A: Drop him a line!...

When he tells you your wife's hair smells nice....

They're both cool until your friends catch you on them....

Q: How do you tell one end of a worm from the other?



A: Put it in a bo...

I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by....

It kept on repeating OOOOMMM.
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What does "WIFE" stand for?



Washing Ironing Food Entertainment...

Q:What do you get when a duck and a cow cross the road?

A:Milk and Quackers...

You never miss any important phone calls because you're in the tub....

There was a gay lad from Kartoume

Took a lesbian up to his room

Well, th...

QUALITY ASSURANCE

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A waste.

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Three guys of three different races walk into a bar. They say, "OUCH!"...

your mama is so fat that when i get into bed with her i have to spread flour on her to find the ...

Q. Why did the male sheep fall off the cliff?



A. He didn't see the Ewe tur...

Siamese twins!...

One, the rest just sit around and talk about how they did it first....

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says... "Why the long

face?"...

Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God!...

He was studying foreign languages.
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Tell her a joke on Wednesday....

What is the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?



The ta...

He died laughing before he could tell anybody....

"Need a LIFT?"...

Bobbing for french fries....

Q: Why do men sit with their legs wide open? A: So their brains can breathe....

It takes me fifteen minutes to clear my throat!...

Patty O'Furniture....

It's kinda cute, but can it pick up peanuts?...

Q: Where does the cat go when it looses it's tale?

A: The retail store.
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Phillippe-flop...

One of them says 'I think I left an electron outside.'The other asked, "Are you positive?"
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