general - unsorted jokes

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I see myself in your pants....

A ho down....

Why did God give deers eyes? I have no eye-deer!...

No more calls from insurance companies....

Have you ever smelled mothballs????



I was just wondering how you would ...

He had to get to the body shop....

( This landed on my desk one day. Origin unknown... - LN )...

They take the psycho path....

Q: How do you spell `onomatopoeia?'

A: The way it sounds....

A Doberman!

...

How do you get four gay guys to sit at one stool?



Turn it upside down!...

a frog with a hand grenade....

38 Long
...

What do you call a dog that hears voices?

A Shih-Tzu-Phrenic!...

Because of the pepper spray....

Your mamma is so fat when she sees a bus go down the street she says stop that twinkee!...

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ?No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the...

Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply...

Q: How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?



A: Three. One to eat...

Pay him for the pizza....

A golden retriever....

A sour grape!...

Q. How many bouncers does it take to throw someone down the stairs?



A. ...

Because he was undercover. (haaha)...

...

Oh...that's odd...I thought I had reservations!...

A speech impediment....

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?...

What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her panties?

Self-employed!...

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

A. To get to the other side!
...

Walk him and pitch to the rhino....

Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities....

Because its the only way they can drive with handcuffs on.
...

One, but it will take 4 episodes....

[Ed: These are from 1984, but they still apply ]...

Q:why do the people have heart Attacks?

So you can tell them apart from feminists....

Q: What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?

A: National Dyslexics Association.
...

I absolutley hate sex on the television.....



I keep falling off!...

You are the wind beneath my wings....

Give him a Comapq or an HP....

He worked it out with a pencil....

What do you get when you cross a dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver!...

What goes in hard, and comes out wet and sticky?

Your momma is so fat . . .

She puts mayo on aspirin.
...

Quatro sinko....

If you've got the time, I've got the inclination....

A hamburger!...

Have you ever heard of someone getting a piece of elephant?...

The position of the dirt bag....