general - unsorted jokes

Why are men like paper cups?



They're dispensable....

"See you next month!"...

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?

A: What are YOU shaking for? She's going ...

Q: Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

A: Because he's Haydn....

why do all black people have nightmares........

Which day does a fish hate?



Fryday...

How do you save a drowning lawyer?...

Q. How do you play Iraqi bingo?

A. B-52...F-16...B-2
...

According to the university of incomplete research, 1 out of 10....

There's a new big band in Canada ... their big hit is "Take the train, eh?"...

What do you call a gay dinosaur?



A megasorass....

What is the height of laziness? Adoption....

My marriage is childless so far, except for my husband!...

Your momma is so fat . . .

She is on BOTH sides of your family.
...

How do you know if you are a geek?



Your computer cost $6,000 and your c...

What's green and smells like pork?...

Two men, Dan and Pat, were having a heated argument.Dan: Why have you stopped playing cards wit...

A man with a banana stuck in his ear and a green bean stuffed up each nostril walks into the doc...

Yet Another Bumper Sticker:

Men think they rule the world,
but can they fak...

Q: What do you get when you cross Flipper (a dolphin TV Star) with Jaws (shark from the movie Ja...

A duck walks in to a drug store and asks for a condom.



The sales person...

So you think your life is bad.



Just think how bad the life of the egg is.....

Dave: I got this great new hearing aid the other day.



Mary: Are you wea...

Three doctors are waiting in line to get into the pearly gates. St. Peter walks out and asks the...

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.



One went to Hollywood and b...

At a Las Vegas gambler's funeral, the Minister, trying to console the grieving family, said "Sam...

A guy returns home with a record of his favorite group. His wife asks him:

"What ha...

A husband and wife were sitting at the breakfast table and the man was reading the ads in the pa...

A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong.



"Oh...

A little boy who is entering fourth grade came home and told his mother with great excitement: "...

Pappy sees Elmer walking with a lantern and asks, "Where ya going, boy?"

The son smile...

Bhola spoke frantically on the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two min...

This guy goes into a doctors and says, "Doctor, doctor you've gotta help me. I just can't stop h...

PrezBubba{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Boris}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

DRUNKBORIS:{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{...

|A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unles...

10. I need to whip it out by 5!
    
9. Mind if I use your laptop?...

10. Girls Just Want To Be Nuns

9. Wind Beneath My Vestments

8. Pretty Fly (For A Celibate Gu...

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals and smacks included.
Ears...

An entry in the Bad Writing Contest at San Jose State

As she fell face down into th...

(From the 7:30 news this morning on CKKW:)

Four peregrine falcon chicks will be ra...

From a Belgian in Canada:

Putting a light coat of icing sugar in someone's bed. The...

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals and smacks included.
Ears...

I ran across this one in one of the local tabloids yesterday:

"A 56 year old gen...

Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. Even...

A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, ''These sleepovers are ...

Why do men fart more than women?



Because women won't shut up long enoug...

Eleven - One to screw it in, five to say they love the light and five to say the old light was b...

Patient walks into a doctor's office. Patient: Doctor, people ignore me. Doctor: Next!...

Doctor: Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory? Patient: What pills?...

I saw the following warning label at MIT's Junior Lab:

"WARNING: Do not look into ...