drunks

A visiting conventioneer from Saskatchewan walked into a bar in Greenwich Village and sat next to a ...

A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the fr...

The bartender got tired of hearing these five drunks arguing about who had the biggest dick.

When three drunks showed up at the local brothel, the madam of the house knew they'd be unable t...

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:IndubitablyInnovativePreliminaryProliferationCinn...

Three drunks show up at the local whorehouse and the madam realizes they are too drunk to be abl...

A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that issitting near him that he can fart ...

Sign of drinking problem...You shout, "I'm not as think you drunk I am."Sent by JC...

A well dressed gentlemen enters the bar of a five star restaurant, sits at the bar and orders four v...

What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic?A drunk doesn't have to go to those stupid me...

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in ...

|A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, and says to the first, "What's your name and address?" "I'm Paddy ...

There was a drunk man walking down the street turninghis car keys back and forth. A policeman came u...

Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn...

"ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY"So what ? Who's in a hurry ?...

A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way downa one-way street when a policeman pulled hi...

A drunk staggered into a cemetery and fell into a freshly dug grave.Pretty soon a second drunk stagg...

Two, old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I could...

Two men at are bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours and were pretty d...

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.Approaching the friend he comments, "Yo...

The scene was Mount Olympus, where Bacchus, the Greek god of wine, had thrown a party for a pair of ...

On a very cold night, a young man dropped into the localbrothel and the madam said, "You'll have to ...

(This was current 25 years ago in Montreal.)

One very cold night, a young man drop...

Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the nig...

Buford: Man, have you got a drinking problem! Mongo: The hell I do! Buford: The hell you don't!Mongo...

A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested,then suddenly a whiskey came along. Pizza thought:...

A somewhat drunk man feels a bald man's head and says,"Say, your head feels just like my wife's ass....

Three drunks were sitting at a bar. The first one said... "I went in my daughter's room, looked in t...

Three drunks were sitting at a bar.

The first one said... "I went in my daughter's ...

Tony and Harold, two avid fisherman and well-known drunks, were out in a boat on their favorite ...

The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test. One of the lasttest has left his system upse...

This guys is sitting at the end of a bar. Each time someone comes in the door he says, rapidly,"...

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned somethingabout his girlfriend being o...

Two notorious drunks are sitting at the bar. One is crying. The other asks what's wrong.

...

A drunk goes into a bar sits down and says hey hey bartender can we talk about politics The bart...

A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut througha graveyard. It is raining heavily and ve...

|A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of c...

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why o...

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy askingwhat time the bar opens. "It open...

If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, let's at least have ...

In the morning I pour coffee in my travel mug and drink about half of it on my way to work. In t...

|How careers end... Lawyers are disbarred. Ministers are defrocked. Electricians are delighted. Far ...

One day, a Smartie and a Polo were having a drink in the pub.Suddenly the pub door swings open and i...

Two drunks staggering home one night and one decides to take a shortcut through the cemetery. Ha...

A very drunk man goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender serves him and asks him if he...

A very drunk man goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender serves him and asks him if he...

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, ...

SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dep...

My mom, who tells me all my best jokes, told me this one:

[Ed: Reportedly appears ...

The Eighteen Bottles I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by myw...