computing jokes

|Microsoft vs. GMAt a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer ind...

|Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0)....

|Computer Problem Report Form1. Describe your problem:______________________________________________...

|What if Dr. Seuss was a technical writer? Here are several examples of what he may write to help yo...

|1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding2. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the c...

|11th-hour tweaks for Windows '98 by Microsoft10. Included subliminal "Impeach Janet Reno" messages ...

|Twas the night before crisis,And all through the house,Not a program was working,Not even a browse....

|ORIGAMIArt of paper folding. In order to obtain a nice and effectiveness result, put the floppy in ...

|Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods.Bar code - Them's the fight'n rules down d...

|SEVEN SOFTWARE COMPANIES ADDED TO "WATCH LIST"New York, NJ, Nov. 11 -- People for the Ethical Treat...

|Costello calls Abbott with some questions about UNIX.Costello: What is the command that will tell m...

1. If you have no life - and you can prove it mathematically.2. If you enjoy pain.3. If you know...

Redmond, Wash.

April 1, 1998

Microsoft today announced the newest addi...

|OFFICE MEMODate: 1/18/96SPINDLER CALLS IN AIR STRIKE, DESTROYS APPLE TO SAVE ITStock Price Increase...

|Assembler: You shoot yourself in the foot.Ada: The Department of Defense shoots you in the foot aft...

|My Dear Husband,I am sending you this letter via this BBS communications thing, so that you will be...

|Computer novices may feel like they're alone these days, but some of the following calls to IBM's h...

|For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to meSee if they can do it again.For the second bug...

|Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee: Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I...

|Are you a tehcnical geek?Do you have a problem with overdoing your technical activities? Many do. T...

|Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and tr...

|Picard "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg?...

|Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Exactly five hund...

|User(To the tune of Beck's "Loser")In the day of sysop nerds I was a flunkieJolt in my brains and b...

"Breaking Up Is Hard To Do..."

(especially when you share the same major!)

<...

|Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different operating systems ru...

|Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 and found that it's a memory ...

|Humorous Computer-Related AcronymsIBM I Blame Microsoft Idiots Buy Me Idiots Building Machines I'll...

|In the beginning, God created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he created the Word.And there we...

|Thou shall love thy BBS with all thy heart and all thy bytes. Thou shalt remember thy name and pass...

|You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights...

[Ed: A "JEDR" (pronounced "Jedder") is a generic member of a lampooned
identifiable group...

|Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD)As the incidence and prevalence of Internet Addiction Disorder (IA...

|1. Thou shalt run lint frequently and study its pronouncements with care, for verily its perception...

|Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and sai...

|WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linkin...

OFFICE MEMO
Date: 1/18/96

SPINDLER CALLS IN AIR STRIKE, DESTROYS APPLE TO SAVE IT
<...

|You've been in graphics too long if...by Chris ThornborrowMost of your friends can pronounce Gourau...

|You kiss your girlfriend's home page.A VRML virtual walk through a park is your idea of a good date...

Microsoft announces beta relase of Windows TP

REDMOND, WA (MAR. 31) BUSINESS WIRE -...

|By following the instructions below, you should have error-free, long-lasting floppy disks. Never l...

|Redmond, WA -- Microsoft Corporation chair, CEO and all-around babe magnet Bill Gates announced yes...

|'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except fat...

|If Microsoft Ran The IRS "Government should be run like a business." We've all heard that chestnut....

Microsoft Corporation today announced plans to buy the
Philadelphia Mint from the United S...

|Real software engineers eat quiche. Real software engineers don't read dumps. They never generate t...

The next generation embeddable scripting language for the web!

JehovaScript (JS) is...

YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... The only jokes you receive are through e-mail(nothing wrong with this...

PRESS RELEASE

Microsoft Corporation today announced plans to buy the Philadelphia M...

YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... The only jokes you receive are through e-mail(nothing wrong with ...