computing jokes

|WRITE IN C (sung to The Beatles "Let it Be")When I find my code in tons of trouble,Friends and col...

|10. "Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon.com backing into our driveway?"9. One Secret Service a...

|I work as a systems administrator, and part of m job involves answering questions about computers. ...

|The Information Highway BluesMy baby's got my 486. My cellular phone's on the blink. My fax's gone ...

|My computer broke down. It crashed and burned! And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay bu...

(Forwards deleted to protect the innocent)

The following is from the business secti...

|From "Machine Design" Magazine......Byte BatAll too often, computers aren't up when you need them, ...

|You know you have been on the computer too long when...When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2...

|Top Ten ways things would be different if Microsoft built cars:1. A Particular model year of car wo...

|At the time of writing, Microsoft's slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?" Thes...

|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most lik...

|In a recent contest in The Washington Post, readers were asked to take an expression using a number...

An eagle was feeling rather horny, so he swooped down on a dove and
took it back to his n...

A retired sailor purchased a computer and began to learn all about computing. Being a sailor, he...

| Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They w...

|100 Buckets of Bits100 buckets of bits on the bus 100 buckets of bits Take one down, short it to gr...

|IBM: It's Being MendedIBM: Inmense Ball of MuckIBM: I Believe in MemorexIBM: It's Better than Macin...

|ADA: A Dumb ArrangementADA: A Dumb AcronymADA: A Dumb AnnoyanceBASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idioti...

|NewsflashMicrosoft today announced that it will be changing its name to "Moft" -- which will clear ...

|Log on - Adding a log to your wood stoveLog off - Don't add a log to your wood stoveMonitor - Keep ...

The Office of Institutional Computing has defined a lower cost alternative for Desktop conversio...

|Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was ve...

|Solitaire '99Here is the README.TXT file from Microsoft's latest software product. Microsoft Solita...

|EMACS: Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-ShiftEMACS: Eight Megabytes And Constantly SwappingEMACS: Even a Mas...

|The government's system administration team, working with computer manufacturers and experts in the...

|Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all et...

|ODE TO A SPELL CHECKERby Jerrold H ZarI have a spelling checker.It came with my PC.It plane lee mar...

|1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found. 3. Pro...

---==( Forwards beamed into deep space )==---

"Mr. LaForge, have you had any succes...

|The Life Cycle of SoftwareProgrammer produces code he believes is bug-free. Product is tested. 20 b...

|Microsoft vs. GMAt a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer ind...

|Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0)....

|Computer Problem Report Form1. Describe your problem:______________________________________________...

|What if Dr. Seuss was a technical writer? Here are several examples of what he may write to help yo...

|1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding2. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the c...

|11th-hour tweaks for Windows '98 by Microsoft10. Included subliminal "Impeach Janet Reno" messages ...

|Twas the night before crisis,And all through the house,Not a program was working,Not even a browse....

|ORIGAMIArt of paper folding. In order to obtain a nice and effectiveness result, put the floppy in ...

|Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods.Bar code - Them's the fight'n rules down d...

|SEVEN SOFTWARE COMPANIES ADDED TO "WATCH LIST"New York, NJ, Nov. 11 -- People for the Ethical Treat...

|Costello calls Abbott with some questions about UNIX.Costello: What is the command that will tell m...

1. If you have no life - and you can prove it mathematically.2. If you enjoy pain.3. If you know...

Redmond, Wash.

April 1, 1998

Microsoft today announced the newest addi...

|OFFICE MEMODate: 1/18/96SPINDLER CALLS IN AIR STRIKE, DESTROYS APPLE TO SAVE ITStock Price Increase...

|Assembler: You shoot yourself in the foot.Ada: The Department of Defense shoots you in the foot aft...

|My Dear Husband,I am sending you this letter via this BBS communications thing, so that you will be...

|Computer novices may feel like they're alone these days, but some of the following calls to IBM's h...

|For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to meSee if they can do it again.For the second bug...

|Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee: Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I...

|Are you a tehcnical geek?Do you have a problem with overdoing your technical activities? Many do. T...