computer jokes

Which football team to you need to connect up your computer? Leeds....

Why did the dish and spoon hide their computer? The cat kept fiddling with i.t....

Why do computer teachers never get sick? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away....

Q: How does a computer tell you it needs more memory? A: It says ''byte me'''...

A: You only have to punch information into a computer once....

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
APPLE...

A tech support employee once received a call from a disgruntled lady who had purchase one of t...

Young Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer. So she cal...

>From New Scientist, 28 august 93, Feedback column:

"The National Westminster B...

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd ...

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd ...

My computer crashed and died today And I thought, "oh well what the hey" Now I'd have time to clean ...

OCR - Optical Character Recognition

A technology that can take written words and convert ...

Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of...

Costello: Hey, Abbott!

Abbot: Yes, Lou?

Costello: I just got my first comp...

Tech Support hotlines are not easy work, you get calls from all sorts of idiotic users that appa...

This computer you charged me L950 for doesn't work....and you said it would be trouble free. ...

PCMCIA - People Can't Memorise Computer Industry Acronyms

ISDN - It Still Does Noth...

How can you tell that your blonde secretary has been typing on your computer?White-out on the screen...

Computer science student is studying under a tree and another one pulls up on a flashy new bike ...

How do you know a blond has been using your computer?When the joy stick is wet!Sent by Richard...

What do you get if you cross a constable with a computer? PC Plod....

What is a computer virus? A terminal illness....

Mum, Mum, Dad's broken my computer! How did he do that? I dropped it on his head....

What do you do if your computer hums? Tell it to change its socsks!...

What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink? A slipped disk....

Where is the best place to buy computer software? Washington C.D...

Why did the computer act crazy? It had a screw loose....

What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller ? A computer with a lot of bites !...

A retired sailor purchased a computer and began to learn all about computing. Being a sailor, he...

What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?

She sticks it in the microwave.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a computer. My goodness, you'd better come to my surgery ri...

Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson Computer?

It has two bytes and no memory.

Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it...

1. After sending someone an email, you phone to tell that someone that you've sent them an email...

While in Israel I found a great buy on a computer. It is a kosher computer called a DELLSHALOM....

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A key...

36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.

37. When doing calculations, pull out an ab...

Many people in computer labs will assure you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they were doing e...

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEETS WINDOWS95 Costello: Hey, Abbott! Abbot: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just g...

Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?A: There's white-out on the screen.Q2: Ho...

Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?

A: There's white-out ...

How do you know when a blonde has been working on your computer?There's white out on the screen and ...

Which kind of ink do you put in your computer's printer? Black, Red or Iced? Iced Ink? Well, y...

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a laptop computer. You're just run down, let me give you so...

How is a computer like Britney Spears?They're both cheap, white, and plastic....

A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord....

"Good Afternnoon, Ridge Hall, computer assistant; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm h...

Everyone who ticks him off gets a $26,000 phone bill.
He's won the Publisher's Clearing Ho...

Idiocy in the Computer World When I worked for a company that had a contract with 3M, 3M had asked m...