computer jokes

Security experts and federal government authorities warn that offspring of the dangerous e-mail ...

Customer: I think I've got a bug in my computer. Repairman: Does your computer make a humming noi...

What's the difference between a computer and a blonde? The computer is smarter, but the blonde is ea...

31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.

32...

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've fo...

A female computer consultant was helping our Santa in setting up his computer and she asked him ...

|A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in.When she turns on the computer, the c...

An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not wo...

You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

Your phone bill c...

Scientists were preparing an experiment to ask the ultimate question.They had worked for months gath...

Helpline? I've just pushed a piece of bacon into my disk drive! Has the computer stopped workin...

Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "ele...

Richard Nixon virus: Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus", you can wipe it out but it always m...

Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer? Someone told him he was supposed to boot ...

I've been sitting at this computer for hours and I haven't seen a single website. That's becaus...

Teacher: Look at the state of the school computer. I want that screen cleaned so I can see my fa...

|Economic computer virusesINTEREST GROUP ECONOMIST VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of l...

This customer comes into the computer store. "I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lo...

Terry Randle virus: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort, Retry,...

Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attem...

"This little computer," said the sales clerk, "will do half of your job for you." Studying...

Teacher: Shall I put the school computer on? Pupil: No, Miss, the dress you're wearing looks fine...

What's the difference between a computer and a woman?

A computer will accept a thre...

Mario Cuomo virus: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run....

Floppy disk - What you get from piling too much wood into your wood stove...

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This v...

Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending har...

I overheard a woman in a computer store say to the sales assistant "I want a game capable of hol...

My computer made a funny sound the other day. Of course, I've never heard it get thrown out a win...

What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs? A thyme machine....

You're spending a lot of time at that computer screen. Have you had your eyes checked? No, they...

How is a computer like an air conditioner? When you open Windows it won't work!...

Q. How do you know that a blonde's been on the computer using Microsoft Word?

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus...

my brain is like a computer,

the older I get the less avaliable memory I have....

Q: How many computer studies students does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. They ar...

In Computer Heaven:The management is from Intel,The design and construction is done by Apple,The...

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands bac...

Apparently a computer giant decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project....

Dear Dr. RAM
I have a computer with a Pentium 133 CPU. I want to increase the speed, but I ha...

Another Dell customer called to say he couldn''t get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minu...

A customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troub...

My son is so lazy he hates emptying the trash in the recycle bin on his computer....

What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk....

The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord....

What do you get if you cross a computer with a ballet dancer? The Netcracker suite....

Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer? He wanted to have webbed feet....

Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer? He wanted to have webbed feet....

Q. What does a blonde and a computer have in common?

A. You don't learn to apprec...

Dot Matrix - Eino Matrix's wife...