computer jokes

Laptop - Where the grandkids sit...

Nike virus: Just Does It!...

Log off - Don't add a log to your wood stove...

Computer users are divided into three types: Novice, Intermediate and Expert. Novice Users - People ...

David Duke virus: Makes your screen go completely white....

Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is f...

Paul Tsongas virus: Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa Claus."...

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back....

New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking ...

Ollie North virus: Turns your printer into a document shredder....

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with th...

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with th...

How to tell when you are spending too much time with your computer:You start introducing yourself as...

You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 2.01or higher."

You never...

Jerry Brown virus: Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number....

Ross Perot virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits....

Dan Quayle virus: Simplye addse ane ee toe everye worde youe typee.....

Enter - Come on in...

Two men were examinig the output of the new computer in their department.

Eventuall...

Random Access Memory - When you can't remember how much you spent on the new deer rifle when wif...

Dan Quayle virus: Prevents your system from spawning any child processes without joining into a ...

UK Parliament virus: Splits the screen into two with a message in each half blaming other side f...

Lately she sits at the computer naked.
After signing off, he always has a cigarette.
...

A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center andregistered his qualifications. He wanted s...

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

A: You only have to pun...

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?



A: You only h...

Computer Heaven and Hell

In computer heaven the management is from Intel,

...

|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most lik...

10 ways to tell if a redneck has been working on a computer:


The monitor is...

Security experts and federal government authorities warn that offspring of the dangerous e-mail ...

Security experts and federal government authorities warn that offspring of the dangerous e-mail ...

Customer: I think I've got a bug in my computer. Repairman: Does your computer make a humming noi...

What's the difference between a computer and a blonde? The computer is smarter, but the blonde is ea...

31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.

32...

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've fo...

A female computer consultant was helping our Santa in setting up his computer and she asked him ...

|A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in.When she turns on the computer, the c...

An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not wo...

You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

Your phone bill c...

Scientists were preparing an experiment to ask the ultimate question.They had worked for months gath...

Helpline? I've just pushed a piece of bacon into my disk drive! Has the computer stopped workin...

Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "ele...

Richard Nixon virus: Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus", you can wipe it out but it always m...

Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer? Someone told him he was supposed to boot ...

I've been sitting at this computer for hours and I haven't seen a single website. That's becaus...

Teacher: Look at the state of the school computer. I want that screen cleaned so I can see my fa...

|Economic computer virusesINTEREST GROUP ECONOMIST VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of l...

This customer comes into the computer store. "I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lo...

Terry Randle virus: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort, Retry,...

Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attem...