computer jokes

Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer....

486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC. State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford.O...

Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; ...

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing o...

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface a...

Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do...

A mainframe computer on which everyone in the office depended suddenly went down.

They t...

An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn''t get her new Dell Computer to turn ...

A female computer consultant is helping a smug man set up his machine. She asks him what passwor...

Customer: "Well, I just want to know if I load this disk into my computer, won't other people be...

Ten ways to know that you're addicted to your computer:-



<...

Computer helpline? Everytime I log onto the seven dwarfs website my computer screen goes snow...

YO COMPUTER IS SO SMART THAT IT FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK BEFORE YOU WHEN YOU TAKE 5 HOURS HE ONLY TO...

An exasperated caller to Tech Support couldn't get her new computer to turn on. After ensuring t...

They say that the new super computer knows everything. A skeptical man came and asked the comput...

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

Difference Between A Computer And A Woman:A computer will not laugh at a three-and-a-half-inch flopp...

46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.

...

Did you hear about the new computer virus?

It's called the "Lorena Bobbit Virus".

Madonna virus: If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!...

A technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him...

A Dell technician recieved a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told ...

Goebel's Law Of Computer Support: Troubleshooting a computer over the telephone is like having ...

Scientists were preparing an experiment to ask the ultimate question.



T...

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?A: You only have to punch information into ...

Ted: Last night my computer died. Ned: What did it die of? Ted: A

terminal illnes...

- Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer? - Well, dear... Every time I ask yo...

Your web page is more popular than you.
Your favorite sport is Tetris.
You know what fuzzy...

A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in. When she turns on the computer...

BIT - A word used to describe computers, as in "Our daughter's computer cost quite a bit."BOOT - Wha...

The Three Laws of Secure Computing 1) Don't buy a computer. 2) If you do buy a computer, don...

1. Only the creator can understand the logic.2. No one understand the native tongue when compute...

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the au...

What is the difference between a used-car salesman
and a computer salesman?

...

Mouse pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live....

Prompt - What you wish the mail was during the snow season...

Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the year....

Diskette - A female Disco dancer....

Modem - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall....

Windows - What you must shut when the temperature hits 10 below...

Crash - When you go to Junior's party uninvited....

Byte - What yer pit bull dun to cusin Jethro....

Mouse - What leaves those little turds in the cupboard...

Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair....

Chip - What you munch during a football games...

Microchip - What's left in the bag when the normal chips are gone...

Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch....

Scsi - What you call your week-old underwear....

Software - Plastic picnic utensils...

Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods....