christmas jokes

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a frontal lobotomy.

On th...

Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into ...

If The Rand Corporation ran Christmas...
The ornaments would be large perfectly smooth and se...

At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of silence. This vow could o...

Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge? Gnome : Put a fi...

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ? A merry Christmas to ewe...

|For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to meSee if they can do it again.For the second bug...

How about a little Christmas poetry?

The wife is shopping for Christmas gifts,
W...

|It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged w...

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
See if they can do it again.

Young lad on knee of a department-store Santa: "Please notice one thing - I'm adequately clothed...

Ingredients

1/2 cup Hugs
4 tsp Kisses
2 cups Smiles
4 cups Love

A wish for Christmas It is around christmas time and santa is sitting in the middle of the mall ...

Dear Father Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!. Father Christmas: Can't ...

Q: What do you call three blondes sitting under a Christmas tree?

A: Ho, Ho, Ho!...

|Wait a minute? Isn't IBM running this Christmas..?...

(Q.)Why do mexicans eat tamales for christmas?


(A.)So they have something...

Q. What does a black boy get for Christmas? A. Your Bike....

If University of Waterloo ran Christmas...
They would immediately change the name to WatMas....

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

See if they can do it again.

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

See if they can do it again.

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

See if they can do it again.

Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiti...

Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts" !...

Q: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
A: We'll have a boo Christmas without you....

Q: Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because the angel had said, "No L!"...

Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas?

A: NOTHING!...

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates wait...

If Thinking Machines ran Christmas...
You would be able to hang over 64,000 ornaments on your...

Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it " soots " him!...

Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned al...

Why are sheep always in a field? Because they can't get out !Who gives my cat his Christmas presents...

If Radio Shack ran Christmas...
The staff would sell you ornaments, but not know anything abo...

Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A: Sandy Claus!...

Q: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
A: It was wound ...

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!...

Q: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
A: Okay everyone, sack time!!...

If Apple ran Christmas...
It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments do, but years earlie...

If Radio Shack ran Christmas...
The staff would sell you ornaments, but not know anything abo...

Q. What does a black boy get for Christmas? A. Your Bike....

A mother was pleased with the card her son had made her for Christmas, but was puzzled as to the...

"Rejected Holiday Specials"

As presented on the 12/10/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with D...

Here's a money saving tip for Christmas: Glue Ju Ju Bee on a Brick and mail it out as a fruitcake!-J...

If Timex ran Christmas...
The holiday would be cheap, small, quartz-crystal driven, and would...

When is Jewish Christmas?

- It's
When is Jewish Christmas?

Why are sheep always in a field? Because they can't get out !



Who give...

If Fisher Price ran Christmas...
"Baby's First Ornament" would have a hand-crank that you tur...

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charge...

Q: If Santa doesn't have to age, then why has he become old?

A: He only appears to be ...

|Ten signs you're not getting a christmas bonus10. Co-workers refer to you as "the ghost of unemploy...