business jokes

Why do aardvarks make undesirable neighbors? Because they always have their noses in other people...

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails? A retail store....

Why do Apes like tall buildings? They want to climb the heights of the business world!...

There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish, if they don't care who gets ...

Law Of The Perversity of Nature: You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the...

Just about the time when your income gets to the point where food prices don't matter, calories ...

What's the new name for the place where Bill Clinton does his business?

Everything east of the San Andreas fault will eventually plunge into the Atlantic Ocean....

486 - The average IQ needed to understand a P.C. state - of - the - art computer you can't afford.Ob...

Did you hear about the businessman who is so rich he has two swimming pools, one of which is alw...

There is no problem so large that it cannot be solved by the application of a correctly chosen t...

Men can live without air for a few minutes, without water for a few days, without food for about...

Doing a good job around here is like wetting your pants in a dark suit; you get a warm feeling, ...

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk. - Franklin ...

Mencken's Law: There is always an easy answer to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wro...

Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person; they will find an easier w...

It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too good either if you speak wh...

For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision....

A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants....

It is not sufficient to be a success; it is also necessary for your friends to be failures....

Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists....

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism....

He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit....

If something is confidential, it will be left in the photocopy machine....

A short cut is the longest distance between two points....

All the world is a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed....

There is no problem a good miracle can't solve....

Eat the rich. The poor are tough and stringy....

There is no evidence to support the notion that life is serious....

If it can be borrowed and it can be broken, you will borrow it and you will break it....

If you mess with a thing long enough, it will break....

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickles in the machine....

The trouble with doing right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was!...

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died....

Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3, not even for large values of 2....

If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong....

The difference between art and science is that if something works in art, you don't have to expl...

The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output....

There is no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation....

I once worked as a salesman and was very independent; I took orders from no one....

Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code....

According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist....

Nothing puzzles me more than time and space; and yet nothing troubles me less....

Only those who attempt the absurd can acheive the impossible....

When things are going well, someone will inevitably experiment detrimentally....

If you cannot convince them, confuse them. - Harry S. Truman...

He who walks in another's tracks leaves no footprints....

Pills to be taken in twos always come out of the bottle in threes....

If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no one will be at fault....

If we learn by our mistakes, some of us are getting one great education!...