business jokes

Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires? Because he liked to see new blood in th...

There are two rules for success in life: Rule 1 - Don't tell people everything you know....

There are only two forces that unite men, fear and self-interest...Napoleon...

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train....

A man of quality does not fear a woman seeking equality....

To err is human. To forgive is simply not company policy....

If you cannot hope for order, withdraw with style from the chaos....

There are three ways to get things done: do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your k...

It is incredible how much intelligence is used in this world to prove nonsense....

If you stand in one place long enough, you make a line....

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut or a salesman if his is a good price....

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on....

There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of man, with the possible exception...

Flon's Law: There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is the least bit diffic...

If you just try long enough and hard enough, you can always manage to boot yourself in the poste...

First Law of Bicycling: No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind....

If at first you don't succeed, you'll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn't succeed eit...

The 5 P's : Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance...

Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others....

It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something from the floor while you ge...

There are two things on earth that are universal: hydrogen and stupidity....

For every problem, there is a neat, plain solution...and it is always wrong....

Quigley's Law: Whoever has any authority over you, no matter how small, will attempt to use it....

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program....

If you are asked to join a parade, don't march behind the elephants....

It is not enough to tell me you worked hard to get your gold. The devil works hard too....

Anyone can admit they were wrong; the true test is admitting it to someone else....

If you think that OSHA is a small town in Wisconsin, you're in trouble....

Some come to the fountain of knowledge to drink, some prefer to just gargle....

|The world is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who don't know. Those who...

Why do aardvarks make undesirable neighbors? Because they always have their noses in other people...

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails? A retail store....

Why do Apes like tall buildings? They want to climb the heights of the business world!...

There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish, if they don't care who gets ...

Law Of The Perversity of Nature: You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the...

Just about the time when your income gets to the point where food prices don't matter, calories ...

What's the new name for the place where Bill Clinton does his business?

Everything east of the San Andreas fault will eventually plunge into the Atlantic Ocean....

486 - The average IQ needed to understand a P.C. state - of - the - art computer you can't afford.Ob...

Did you hear about the businessman who is so rich he has two swimming pools, one of which is alw...

There is no problem so large that it cannot be solved by the application of a correctly chosen t...

Men can live without air for a few minutes, without water for a few days, without food for about...

Doing a good job around here is like wetting your pants in a dark suit; you get a warm feeling, ...

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk. - Franklin ...

Mencken's Law: There is always an easy answer to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wro...

Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person; they will find an easier w...

It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too good either if you speak wh...

For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision....

A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants....

It is not sufficient to be a success; it is also necessary for your friends to be failures....