aviation jokes

Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not? Pilot: Yes. Tower: Yes what?? Pilot: Yes, SIR!...

"Hello flight 56, if you hear me rock your wings.." "OK TOWER, IF YOU HEAR ME ROCK THE TOWER!!"...

Cessna: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel." Tower: "Roger Cessna 1234...

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, st...

|Acronyms for International AirlinesItalyALITALIA = Always Late In The Air, Late In ArrivalALITALIA ...

Brendan had spent a week visiting his family in Kentucky. His sister-in-law and seven-year-old ...

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplish...

Pilot: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel." Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345...

|A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, h...

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished...

An airplane was losing altitude over the Rocky Mountains. The pilot over the intercom said that...

I heard this from my brother, who is a Search and Rescue pilot at Canadian
Forces Base Ba...

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway r...

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway r...

A man jumps out of an airplane with a parachute on his back. As he's falling, he realizes hiss c...

Flight fifty has a pretty rough time above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the intercom...

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway...

|Flight fifty has a pretty rough time above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the intercom: "La...

Flight fifty has a pretty rough time above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the intercom: ...

On a flight with EasyJet back in 1997 the pilot made what can only be describes as an extremel...

After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily...

|A man jumps out of an airplane with a parachute on his back. As he's falling, he realizes hiss chut...

A man jumps out of an airplane with a parachute on his back. As he's falling, he realizes hiss c...

A Pope, a boy scout, and the smartest guy in the world are on an airplane that is going down (be...

On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the ...

"This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airw...

As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his ...

Excerpted from "Masquerade: The Amazing Camouflage Deceptions of World War II", Seymour Reit (Si...

"This is Captain of your plane speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard Ind...

Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton and Nelson Mandela are in an airplane with 20 kids. The airplane...

A plane full of retirees headed for Florida was gripped with fear when the pilot announced, "Two...

Newly arrived in the U.S., immigrants Mario and Luigi go to the urban unemployment office.
...

From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate y...

|"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Air...

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British ...

An elderly doctor and a Presbyterian minister were seated next to each other on the plane. The p...

An elderly doctor and a Presbyterian minister were seated next to each other on the plane. The p...

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British ...

A man is drowning in the sea.''Help me, Lord,'' he cries.



Just then, a fis...

A pilot, the President, Micheal Jackson, a librarian, and some kids are on a plane that is about...

Some time ago, I was taking a ground school class for private pilots.
During the session...

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British ...

Here's a story, that actually did happen.

On July 2nd 1982, Larry Walters, a truck ...

An airplane was flying from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced, ...

A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the cap...

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flyi...

This is a bit of light relief from an internal web site here at
Netscape. Apparently, it...

During WWII a fighter pilot was shot down over Germany and he was captured by the Nazis. He was ...

|An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying ...

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks t...