aviation jokes

ATC: "Cessna G-ABCD What are your intentions? " Cessna: "To get my Commercial Pilots Licence a...

Once as Laloo was coming out of airport, there was huge rush and the security guard told him, "W...

Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with...

From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are o...

LH741: Tower, give me a rough time check Tower: It's Thursday, Sir....

"I've never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. "You will bring me down safely...

This from Air & Space/Smithsonian magazine:

The three-letter airport identifie...

From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight atten...

"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place t...

As the airliner was preparing to land in Madrid in a rainstorm, an English passenger seemed noti...

Two men are flying in a captive balloon. The wind is ugly and they come away from their course a...

"Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.." "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet, ...

A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Po...

An airline stewardess was giving the standard safety briefing to the passengers. She had just ...

Pilot says: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the sea...

A friend of mine, while waiting for his airplane, saw a pilot walk
by carrying his bag. ...

Tower: Mission triple-three, do you have problems? Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass. To...

What is ideal Flight Deck complement for a modern airliner? A Captain, a Co-pilot and a dog. ...

|A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland....

A man walks up to the counter at the airport. "Can I help you?" asks the agent. "I want a rou...

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sle...

Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the "Fasten Sea...

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passe...

According to "The Australian," an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight. T...

United Airlines FA: "Ladies and Gentlemen, as you are all now painfully aware, our Captain has...

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they de...

After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gen...

Ever wonder why they never show the film ALIVE in-flight?...... It's not because of the film's...

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passe...

|As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decid...

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they de...

|An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passenge...

|According to "The Australian," an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight.The capt...

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passe...

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passe...

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passe...

McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed ...

Pilot: Tower, there's a runway light burning. Tower: I'm sure there must be dozens of lights b...

Now that your nookie days are over and your pilot light is out, what used to be your sex appeal ...

A student was heading home for the holidays. When she got to the airline counter, she presented ...

Little boy to airline pilot: "You're a pilot?!?!? That must be exciting." Pilot: "Not ...

An F-4 was flying escort with a B-52 and generally making a nuisance of
himself by flying...

A plane was once flying over an island when the passengers heard the pilot's voice: “Ladies...

|Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. Aft...

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate...

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. ...

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. ...

When the Captain spoke over the intercom system, the passengers were surprised to hear a woman's...

Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husba...

USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on busine...