animal jokes

What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out....

Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs!...

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house ? He prawned everything !...

What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d...

What does an octopus take on a camping trip? Tentacles!...

What does a squid sheriff form? An octoposse!...

What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo!...

What is the most famous shark? William Sharkspeare!...

If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers!...

Why did the whale cross the road ? To get to the other tide !...

What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time!...

What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper? A slippery customer....

Q: What did the duck say when he got hit by a boat in the lake

A: Quack. What did...

A: Waiter: Sit down, sir. We serve anyone....

Q. If there's H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside?A. K9...

What is the difference between a pitbull dog and a PMS woman?



Lipstick....

What do you call 3 blondes under a Christmas tree?

Ho-Ho-Ho!...

What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits ...

What do JFK Jr. and a penguin have in common?
They're both cute as hell an...

Q: What does a chicken say when there is a fire in his coop?

A: "Where's the egg-...

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they have big fingers....

You're so ugly, your mom has to tie a steak around your neck ju...

Q: What do you get when you cross a raven with a mad dog? A: A ravin lunati...

What is the difference between a BMW & a porcupine? The pricks are on the i...

Your Mama is so fat that when she went to the zoo, the elephant...

The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which ...

Two Polish guys are walking down the street sharing insights. The smarter of the two sees a dog ...

When did the Gorillas start to picket the cookie factory? The day they started to manufacture a...

Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He t...

What do hillbilly chicks and polar bears have in common?
They both lick their paws....

Went to lunch with a friend today to a new chicken place. We asked how they prepare their chicke...

Hickory Dickory Dock, An elephant ran up the clock, The clock is being repaired.

...

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
potential-acquaintan...

What do u get if u cross bambi wit a ghost?BAMBOOWhat is a duck's favourite TV show?THE FEATHER FORE...

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side...

There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than s...

Q: What did the snail say when it caught a ride on the back of the turtle as i...

This horse walks in to a bar and asks for a bit to eat!...

What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?The wrong answer....

What do you get if you sleep under a cow?A PAT on the head.Sent by Jimmy...

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?...

What's a pet's favorite day? ...Saint Petrick's Day...

Which big cat should you never play cards with ? A cheetah !...

Why was the skunk angry? He was incensed!...

Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent!...

What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off? I'll get you next slime!...

What gas do snails prefer? Shell....

Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise!...

What happened to the cold jellyfish ? It set !...

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus ? On squid row !...