animal jokes

What game do four elephants in a mini play?Squash...

What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot? An animal that's always telling you how busy...

What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog ? An animal that barks at low flying aircraft...

What should you call a bald teddy ? Fred bear !...

What kind of money do polar bears use ? Ice lolly !...

What's a teddy bears favourite pasta ? Tagliateddy !...

What is a bear's favourite drink ? Koka-Koala !...

Why was the little bear so spoiled ? Because its mother panda'd to its every whim !...

What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear ? Winnie the Pooh !...

What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep ? A stripey sweater !...

What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo ? A stripey jumper !...

How are tigers like sergeants in the army ? They both wear stripes !...

What happened when the lion ate the comedian ? He felt funny !...

What is the fiercest flower in the garden ? The tiger lily !...

What is a chameleon's motto ? A change is as good as a rest !...

Why did the tadpole feel lonely ? Because he was newt to the area !...

What's the definition of a nervous breakdown ? A chameleon on a tartan rug !...

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls ? Reptiles !...

Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind, it stinks!...

How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly? Just a phew!...

What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry!...

Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues? Because he had a stinking cold!...

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a wasp? Something that stinks and stings!...

When should you feel sorry for a skunk? When its spray pump is out of order!...

Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? He always liked to make a stink!...

What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial? Odour in court!...

What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before? Deja phew!...

What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man? Tarzan stripes forever....

What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late....

How do snails get their shells all shiny? They use snail polish....

What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers!...

Who held the baby octopus to ransom ? Squidnappers !...

Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid....

Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him? He stung her into action....

What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms!...

Who was the most famous pirate octopus? Captain Squid!...

What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late!...

Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark!...

What is a dolphin's favorite TV show ? Whale of fortune !...

What is a whale's favorite TV show? Flukes of Hazard!...

What kind of whale flies? Pilot whales!...

What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really!...

Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed....

What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice....

Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank...

What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer....

Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee!!!!!...

Why can't dogs use computers?

Because you can't stick your head out of Windows 95...

Why don't anteaters ever get sick?

Because they're all full of anty bodies...

How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever see...