animal jokes

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin? Pingu-Pong!...

What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe ? A long necked toothbrush !...

What's black and white and makes a lot of noise? A zebra with a set of drums....

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies!...

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision? Flipper coin!...

What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid....

What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands....

What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers!...

What kind of sharks make good carpenters? Hammerheads!...

What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty!...

Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth!...

Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."...

What do you call a dog with no back legs and steel testicles?

SPARKY!!!...

A donkey walks into the bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"...

Q: Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
A: Because she has a frog in her throat at 69!...

What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
...

You might be a redneck if... Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs....

What's the difference between a woman and dog at your front doo...

Why did the turtle Cross the road? To get to the ''Shell'' station!...

Why did the moron throw the butter out the window?
He wanted to se...

Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots???
A: Bunny farts!...

Why do dinosaurs have to wear hats?
So their wives know whi...

What do you call a dog with no back legs and steel testicles?



SPARKY!!!...

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."...

A: No, you should eat your fingers separately....

Did you here about the new dog breed of dog?
It's a cross between a Pittbull and a Collie...

How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free....

A fish hit its head on a cement wall.
"Dam."...

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer....

Q: Does an elephant ever forget?A: Only if you loan him money....

What game do four elephants in a mini play?Squash...

What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot? An animal that's always telling you how busy...

What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog ? An animal that barks at low flying aircraft...

What should you call a bald teddy ? Fred bear !...

What kind of money do polar bears use ? Ice lolly !...

What's a teddy bears favourite pasta ? Tagliateddy !...

What is a bear's favourite drink ? Koka-Koala !...

Why was the little bear so spoiled ? Because its mother panda'd to its every whim !...

What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear ? Winnie the Pooh !...

What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep ? A stripey sweater !...

What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo ? A stripey jumper !...

How are tigers like sergeants in the army ? They both wear stripes !...

What happened when the lion ate the comedian ? He felt funny !...

What is the fiercest flower in the garden ? The tiger lily !...

What is a chameleon's motto ? A change is as good as a rest !...

Why did the tadpole feel lonely ? Because he was newt to the area !...

What's the definition of a nervous breakdown ? A chameleon on a tartan rug !...

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls ? Reptiles !...

Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind, it stinks!...

How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly? Just a phew!...