animal jokes

Are you management material? Do you have what it takes to be an effective manager in corporate A...

Farmer smith was not satisfied with the yield of his milk cows, so he decided to called in an an...

A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monke...

Q: Why do penguins live in the Arctic?A: Because they can't fly to Florida like the rest of the old ...

How do you smuggle an elephant across the border?Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him "lu...

A: Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. I hear it's untweetable....

A tomcat told a female cat, "For you, I would die."

The female asked, "How many times?...

Farmer smith was not satisfied with the yield of his milk cows, so he decided to called in an an...

This is a quiz to see if you should be considered a 'professional smart person' by your friends....

This is a quiz to see if you should be considered a 'professional smart person' by your friends. You...

Some years ago, the famous San Diego Zoo opened a second, larger branch called the San Diego Wil...

In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property....

A man walked into a pet store looking for a new pet for his wife.

So he asked the...

This is a very interesting psychological test. Have a pen and paper
handy before you read ...

If a rooster's on top of a barn door and lays an egg, does the egg fall on the north or the sout...

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid ...

An elephant walks up to a naked guy and says, "How do you breathe out of that thing?"Sent by abu dah...

Q: what's a biologists definition of a graph A: an animal with a long neck...

What is the strongest animal? A racehorse, because it can take hundreds of people for a ride at...

Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world? It has 4 rabbits' feet....

What steps should you take if you see a dangerous animal on your travels? Very large ones....

Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!...

What do you call a show full of lions ? The mane event !...

How does a leopard change its spots ? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another !...

What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ? After a week he was spotless !...

What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater ? 'Claws.'...

What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common ? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mo...

What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell!...

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang? A smell that keeps coming back!...

How are skunks able to avoid danger? By using their instinks and common scents!...

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin? Pingu-Pong!...

What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe ? A long necked toothbrush !...

What's black and white and makes a lot of noise? A zebra with a set of drums....

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies!...

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision? Flipper coin!...

What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid....

What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands....

What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers!...

What kind of sharks make good carpenters? Hammerheads!...

What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty!...

Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth!...

Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."...

What do you call a dog with no back legs and steel testicles?

SPARKY!!!...

A donkey walks into the bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"...

Q: Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
A: Because she has a frog in her throat at 69!...

What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
...

You might be a redneck if... Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs....

What's the difference between a woman and dog at your front doo...

Why did the turtle Cross the road? To get to the ''Shell'' station!...

Why did the moron throw the butter out the window?
He wanted to se...