Animal Jokes

Q:What did the elephant say when it saw a dead ant?
A: DEAD ANT, DEAD ANT, DEAD ANT.........

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat.

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A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house...

Whats a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotofpuss !

Whats a gay dinosaur? A lickdicknopu...

Q: Does an elephant ever forget?A: Only if you loan him money....

What is the difference between a dog and a fox?



About 5 drinks....

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has be...

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it ...

Dog Rules...

1. The dog is not allowed in the house.
2. Okay, the dog is a...

A veterinarian got a phone call at midnight one night.

The woman on the other end...

Q: What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
A: About five drinks....

|How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I'll replace any w...

There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The...

A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches the...

There were three drunk guys and they got in a car accident. They go to heaven and plead god for ...

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME IN HANDY A repeat offende...

What did the elephant say to the naked man? ''It's nice, but can it pick up...

What time is it when an elephant sits in your chair?

Time to get a new chair....

Hickory Dickory Dock, An elephant ran up the clock, The clock is being repaired.

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Did you know that elephants actually have their sexual organs in their feet?Yup, if one steps on you...

Q: Why don't elephants use cellular phones?A: So the rest of the world won't know their plans....

Did you hear?

The Energizer bunny has been arrested for Battery...

Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the prog...

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough ...

What did the fish say when he hit a wall? Dam!...