animal jokes

Went to lunch with a friend today to a new chicken place. We asked how they prepare their chicke...

Hickory Dickory Dock, An elephant ran up the clock, The clock is being repaired.

...

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
potential-acquaintan...

What do u get if u cross bambi wit a ghost?BAMBOOWhat is a duck's favourite TV show?THE FEATHER FORE...

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side...

There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than s...

Q: What did the snail say when it caught a ride on the back of the turtle as i...

This horse walks in to a bar and asks for a bit to eat!...

What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?The wrong answer....

What do you get if you sleep under a cow?A PAT on the head.Sent by Jimmy...

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?...

What's a pet's favorite day? ...Saint Petrick's Day...

Which big cat should you never play cards with ? A cheetah !...

Why was the skunk angry? He was incensed!...

Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent!...

What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off? I'll get you next slime!...

What gas do snails prefer? Shell....

Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise!...

What happened to the cold jellyfish ? It set !...

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus ? On squid row !...

What happens when sharks take their clothes off ? They go sharkers !...

Are shellfish warm? No they're clammy!...

Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers!...

How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid....

What is a buttress? A female goat....

One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"...

Why don't lobsters share? They're shellfish....

Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers...

yo mama so fat she has more rolls then a bakery....

why did the chicken cross go by the underpass?...

Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm baco...

Q: Why did the cat cross the road?
A: It was the chicken?s day off....

Q: What did one flea say to the other flea? A: Shall we walk or take a dog?...

Q: What did the doe say when she came running out of the woods? A: I'll nev...

Q. What goes 99 click? A. A centipede with a wooden leg....

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my potential-acquaintance-abu...

A black cow was standing in the middle of the road. A man was hauling ass around a corner with n...

he Twelve Politically-Correct Days of Christmas On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed m...

What is the difference between a dog and a fox? Eight beers....

What came first, the chicken or the egg? - I'd have to say it was the rooster!...

What do you do with a dog with no legs?Take it for a drag....

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ? A horse !...

How does an octopus go to war ? Well-armed !...

Where do sharks come from? Sharkago!...

Q: Why did the cat go to the hospital?
A: To have a cat-scan done....

What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

Ruff!...

Traditional: Farm animal must be killed by ritual slaughterer using a sharply honed knife that m...

|15. I will not eat other animals' poop. 14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poo...

"I think Rover is getting a bit old, he seems to be going deaf.""Bullshit, watch this...Rover sit! O...

Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't...