General / Unsorted jokes
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One man explaining to another why he fired his secretary:
"Two weeks ago," I said, ``was my forty-fifth birthday and I wasn't feeling too
hot that morning anyway. I went into the kitchen for breakfast knowing that my
wife would be pleasant and say 'Happy Birthday' and probably have a present for
me. She didn't even say 'Good Morning' let alone say 'Happy Birthday'.
``I said to myself 'Well that's wives for you. The children will remember.'
But the children came into breakfast and didn't say a word. And when I started
to the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
``As I walked into my office, Janet said 'Good Morning, Boss--Happy Birthday'
and I felt a little bit better that someone had remembered.
``I worked until noon. About noon, Janet knocked on my door and said, 'You know
it's such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, so let's go to
lunch, just you and I.' I said, 'By George, that is the greatest thing I have
heard all day. Let's go.'
``We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go, we went out into the
country to a private place. We had two Martinis and enjoyed lunch
tremendously.
``On the way back to the office, she said, 'You know, it's such a beautiful day
we don't need to go back to the office, do we?' I said, 'No, I guess not.'
``She said, 'Let's go by my apartment, and I'll fix you another Martini.'
``We went to her apartment. We enjoyed another Martini and smoked a cigarette
and she said, 'Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and
slip into something more comfortable' and I allowed her as I didn't mind at
all.
``She went into the bedroom and in about six minutes she came out of the bedroom
carrying a big birthday cake followed by my wife and children. All were
singing 'Happy Birthday' and there I sat with nothing on but my socks.''
