(Article from Edinburgh University's" /> 20 Things That Never Happen in "Star Trek" - Military jokes (72706) - <br>(Article from Edinburgh University's


20 Things That Never Happen in "Star Trek" - Military jokes (72706)

Military jokes 137 hits




 


(Article from Edinburgh University's MIDWEEK Student Magazine,

by Graeme MacDonald.)



1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has

encountered several times before.



2. The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who

are all perfectly all right.



3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works properly.



4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which

later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform wearing a funny

hat.



5. The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious plague, for

which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise

sick-bay.



6.The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced

people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime

Directive.



7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to

another without serious incident.



8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to

the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to

bring the right leads.



9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a

faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering

staff.



10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence

which does not put them on trial.



11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence

which they easily pacify by offering it some sweeties.



12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where

everyone is happy all of the time. However, everything is soon

revealed to be exactly what it seems.



13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but

fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to

everyone's satisfaction.



14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which

is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century.



15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits,

and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.



16. Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly

obvious.



17. The warp engines start playing up a bit, but seem to sort

themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius

Wesley Crusher.



18. Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy

git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age

for a change.



19. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not

being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three

sentences that anyone says to him.



20. Most things that are new or in some way unexpected.



But we still love it, right kids?